Why Some Chair Crushers Can't Lose Weight

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Last Friday, I received an email from a fat guy, which was basically a long and whining read. He had a hundred reasons why he couldn't lose weight and he wanted me to guarantee that my book would do the trick. I sent him a very short reply that essentially said "no dice partner."

As Clint Eastwood once said, "If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster." Or paraphrasing some Washington wag, "If you want a friend to listen to your sad story, buy a dog."

If you quit before you start, you don't have a chance in hell of success and writing me with a long tale of woe isn't going to help you any. I will guarantee this: The guy who wrote asking me for a guarantee has a coffee table full of diet and fitness books, gathering dust in his living room, while he carves a big S groove in the sofa. I'll guarantee you he has enough information on health and fitness to start a lending library.

What he can't do is hold himself accountable...because it has to be someone else's fault that he is muscularly challenged and can't stop the fork and spoon ballet, that is playing over and over and over again.

As the old ball coach once said, "You can't make any of the shots you don't take."

Anybody who achieves any measure of success finds a way to make it happen. They don't sit around and wait for somebody else to succeed for them.

There are literally thousands of weight loss books and programs on the market. But there aren't very many written by somebody who actually lost 55 pounds and kept it off, just happens to be over 60 and is a doctor. You could count those programs on a couple of fingers and maybe only one.

But nothing works, unless you actually use it, or put it to work.

Another woman wrote in to say that she had a book by a colleague and she wanted a guarantee that mine was better. I'll guarantee you this: She's a double stuffed pork chop, a large rump roast, the Queen of Tranfatsylvania. (Lord forgive me....)

A friend of mine, who spent many years (33) in the Army, told me a great story. When he was in Vietnam, a grizzled old sergeant told a group of men they would be going into a fierce battle, very soon, and he wanted to know who was scared. A number of men raised their hands. He said, "Okay, you guys move to the front, you'll be going in first." One of the men who raised his hand asked, "Sarge why is that?" The old sergeant said, " Well, if you aren't going to be a soldier, the rest of us are going to use you as cover."

That platoon didn't lose a man in that operation.

You want to complain? Do something first, or save that breath.

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