Stop An Affair

How do you stop an affair? That is a frightening question for
anyone in the midst of a marriage threatened by infidelity.
Unfortunately, that places you in easily 1/4 of all marriages.

Yep, that's right. The statistics show that 25% of marriages
suffer an affair. And to be even more clear, the survey is
focused on physical affairs.

The percentage suffering from an emotional affair is much
higher. That would tell us that marriages are threatened by
infidelity.

The major reason given by those who have affairs? For physical
affairs, the reason given is sex. For emotional affairs, the
reason given is attention.

In reality, the basis is the same. We all have a need to feel
wanted, even desired. Unfortunately, this is one area that
tends to fall to the side in marriages. Daily life take over the
feelings of romance and passion that usually mark the
beginnings of a relationship.

In fact, marriages that keep some energy on passion and
connection have a much lower incident of infidelity. The need is
met within the marriage.

So, what do you do if there is an affair? How do you stop an
affair? Those are tough questions, and this article does not
allow enough room to fully cover the issue. Let's look at a few
hints and helps.

1) Commit to working on the marriage. commit to staying
together. I say "commit" because the feeling of betrayal can be
so strong that you may only want to quit.

2) Focus on forgiving. This is a big topic! But to quickly put this
in perspective, forgiveness is NOT giving permission. It is not
letting someone "off the hook." In fact, forgiveness is not even
primarily for the other person. It is for you, so that you do not
have to carry the pain around with you.

3) Take a look at where your marriage was before the affair.
Had you lost contact with each other? Was the passionate part
of your relationship gone? This will tell you what needs to
change in order to get back on track.

4) Take responsibility for your role in where the relationship
was. This is NOT taking responsibility for your spouse's actions,
but for where the marriage was.

To follow up on this, I often hear people say "I thought our
marriage was fine. I don't know why it happened." But pushed
a little harder, it is possible to find the disconnect, the lack of
passion, the seeds of the affair.

Since you cannot control your spouse's behavior, you can't force
him or her to stop the affair. But you can work to create a
relationship you both would protect and treasure. That is the
beginning point of how to stop an affair.

Has your marriage been threatened by an affair? Learn more on how to save your marriage at http://www.SaveTheMarriage.com