Restraining Orders & Parenting

Copyright (c) 2009 Ron Lasorsa

The bedrock of any society is the family; husband and wife joined together. The family is there to, love, provide and nurture their children. In a typical family the mother supplies the time and energy in the care of the children. Children learn valuable lessons from their mother watching her take care of them; while the father is there to provide support, guidance and discipline.

As my priest has aptly told me on numerous occasions " A mother can bring you into this life but only a father can tell you who you are." The priest's point is that only the father can provide the direction and guidance that a child needs. There is nothing so powerful as words of encouragement from a father to help define a child's life. Children tend to look at life through two distinct lenses: the mother who is there to take care of them while the father is out in the real world doing "real things". It is the fathers' world that children find fascinating and ominous. That is why the presence and encouragement of fathers is so powerful.

But when separation or divorce takes place between the parents, it is the children that suffer. When the father is not present, the mother's authority and discipline can be compromised. Children tend to comply more readily with the fathers demands than the mothers. On the other hand, women tend to show men how to care for small children. Single fathers, without the help of mothers, may be clumsy or inept in dealing with small children and may return the children to their mother with diaper rashes, cuts, and colds. And because of this, men might be placed under the suspicious eyes of the law for neglecting his children.

Fathering outside of the marriage brings entirely new issues with the former wife's many times feeling uneasy about their former spouse washing and bathing their children. The fathers now have to be careful on how affectionate they can become with their children lest someone takes a harsh view of the mans relationship with such small children. It is of little wonder that an affectionate father outside of marriage can become legally perilous.

But restraining orders take on a much more vicious nature when they happen to a father, as the father has to abide by the letter of the law lest he end up in jail. Restraining orders rip the father out of the life of the child and in some ways in a permanent and irreparable way. It is hard enough to be a parent, harder enough to be a single parent but even more so as a father with a restraining order around his neck.


------

Go here for the best resource on how to defend yourself against a restraining order. http://www.restrainingorder911.com