Difficult Boss - 4 Steps To Make A Positive Breakthrough
By: Trevor Hill | Posted: 21st October 2008
What is the most maddening issue you face at work?
The chances are that someone else is involved. Many people endure the experience of working with a difficult colleague. It is particularly challenging when this colleague happens to be the boss.
When we're stuck, not sure what to do, we can tap into our imagination to find a way forward.
Our imagination is a powerful resource. We may never stand on the summit of Everest but when we hear the experiences of those that have, we can imagine what it is like. We can read the story of Edmund Hillary and imagine how it was to be the first.
As individuals whenever we venture beyond our certain knowledge, we use our imagination. So in everyday life we use our imagination a great deal. We tell ourselves stories to explain why things happen the way they do.
Take a simple example - when another driver cuts suddenly across our path we make up a story, perhaps ascribing certain attributes to their character, to 'explain' their action.
The story may or may not be true. In fact because it is in our imagination, truth is not really the issue. What matters is whether the story is useful - does it serve us well?
Our stories can motivate us, limit us or scare us silly. The good news is that when a story is no longer useful we can rewrite it to reveal new ways to meet the challenges of the day.
When we have a difficult boss, we 'explain' it with a story - there are infinite variations but classic stories include: my boss is only concerned with their own career; my boss doesn't like me because ...; my boss is stupid/incompetent.
Whatever the story we tell ourselves, it holds the difficult situation in place in our mind. If we want to get unstuck we need more choices - we need a more useful story.
Here's a 4 step technique to open up more choices. It uses your imagination to view the issue from three different perceptual positions.
To make the technique more powerful, substitute real names for 'boss' and 'yourname'.
1. First position - here you view the situation through your own eyes and check-in with your thoughts and feelings regardless of others around you.
Keep your own interests in your grasp. Spend some time to get clear on what you really want - what would be a successful outcome for you?
2. Second Position - now physically move to another place in the room, perhaps a different chair. Take some time to imagine X's point of view. Step into their shoes and imagine how they think and feel. Temporarily adopt their physiology - how they sit or stand.
- What priority does 'boss' have? - What concerns 'boss'? - What outcome does 'boss' want?
3. Third position - again move to a new location in the room. Now imagine the viewpoint of a detached observer Y - 'a fly on the wall' - where you can see both 'yourname' and 'boss'.
- What characterises the relationship between 'yourname' and 'boss'? - What do 'yourname' and 'boss' have in common? - What could 'boss' do differently? - What could 'yourname' do differently? - What is the best way forward for 'yourname' and 'boss'?
4. Bringing it together - now return to your physical starting point.
-What new story can you now tell yourself that would explain the situation? -What other story could also explain it? -What is the most useful story?
By telling yourself that new story, you will be able to see new paths to follow.
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Trevor Hill works with people who want their work to be motivating and satisfying. He believes that as we spend a major part of our lives at work, we should aim to get the most from it. Download your FREE copy of 'Passport To Inspiration' at
http://www.inspiration-at-work.co.uk
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Tags: imagination, truth, colleague, experiences, challenges, choices, attributes, new ways, everyday life, summit, real names