Fly Guy Ė C.J. Miller

By: Cocoa Cure | Posted: 16th November 2010

C.J. Miller is nationally known for not only his multiple appearances on network and cable reality television shows but as a relationship advisor with a candid, upfront approach to counseling women. Many entertainment professionals as well as his fans and viewers learned a bit about Millerís childhood when, on ABCís True Beauty, he revealed that as a child he dealt with obesity and weight issues.

Raised with his three siblings by a single mother, Miller appreciates the value of hard work and strong faith. Being an overweight child with a stuttering problem is the momentum behind the laser-like focus C.J. places on true self-awareness, creating ones own destiny, and empowering every person he meets.

Miller intimately knows the abyss of self-doubt, rejection, and abandonment a person can become lost in due to not having a father in their life, but he overcame it. He wanted to reach the many people who daily wrestle with feeling of rejection, not feeling good enough, or simply feeling empty because of that one parental figure who left home. Miller devised a plan to bring his message of encouragement, motivation, and hope to the masses by graduating from college, getting on television, and writing quick-read self-help motivation books meant to pick up, cheer up, and stand readers up by the soul. Miller attended Wilberforce University where he graduated with a B.A. in Mass Media Communications in 2004. Knowing he must have a national platform if he is to be heard, Miller puts together a six month plan designed to put him on television and give him the platform he needs to reach the millions of people he believes will identify with his story.

To vitalize his dream, though, Miller has to transfer to a more suitable city. He packs his car and heads back to Los Angeles, and finds a job that allows him to tap into the Mecca of potential relationship, unlimited resources, and golden opportunities the entertainment, fashion, and publishing industries donít want people to know about.

Within six months of moving to Los Angeles, he catches the attention of celebrity producers Tyra Banks and Ashton Kutcher, and lands a part on the first season of the ABC-TV show True Beauty, as well as appearances on other reality television shows including The Bad Girls Club 2 and Bravo Networkís Millionaire Matchmaker. Following True Beauty, Miller was also a guest on The Tyra Bank Show as a relationship advisor. Offers come from other networks including The Food Network and MTV, and he realizes his dream: being a host of his own talk show as a relationship expert.

Miller continues to maintain his focus in achieving his goals without compromising his integrity. By the summer of this year, Miller will have already had two reality television appearances airing on major networks as a guest on VH1ís Tough Love Couples, and as a featured cast member on TV Oneís Donald Trump Presents The Ultimate Merger. Having written a series of relationship books that will be published this year, Miller continues to motivate, encourage, and educate women in an informative, conversational, and candid manner. Releasing his eBook Good Girls Wanna Be Spanked, Too online through his social networking profiles, Miller received an overwhelming response from women who found him insightful and honest. In another book that is not a part of the relationship series, Miller gives readers his secret 3-step social formula which resulted in his successes in the entertainment industry within less than six months, and guarantees anyone who uses his formula will find themselves in front of decision makers from any industry within six months or less. Miller wants everyone to realize they have a choice to sit back and wait for golden opportunities, or they can create them.

Cocoa Cure Magazine was excited to talk to this weekís Fly Guy, who wasnít reluctant to show his true beauty, apart from his physical attributes.

Cocoa Cure: As a contestant on ABCís reality show True Beauty, you were being judged for your inner beauty. As a child youíve had issues with obesity. Explain the value of being celebrated now for your outer beauty.

C.J.: Absolutely. I donít look at it now for being celebrated for my outer beauty, but there was a time when I looked in the mirror and didnít like what I saw. But there was I moment when I realized that I was enough. So now Iím at a point to where I can walk into a room and have peace of mind, regardless if a person likes what I have onÖ.so I personally celebrate that.

CC: Men speaking out about having issues with their body image is rare. In general, where/what are menís biggest insecurities?

C.J. : Great question. At the end of the day I really believe that a manís insecurity is not having their individuality [appreciated] when they bare all in front of a woman they are interested in. The fear is when a guy really reveals his heart to a woman and wonders hmm, Ďdo I make enough, is my car flashy enough?í

CC: So is it a fear?

C.J.: Yeah a fear. ĎCause I have a lot of friends in a lot of different circles Ė those who are making thirty thousand to those who are multi-millionaires and those who are millionaires speak from a place of constant confidence because of their possessions. And the ones who donít have the things want to get the things because they think that will give them peace when they get into a relationship. But the ones that have the things, their fear is to lose the things because they think they will lose the woman in their life. At the end of the day, itís about those guys not having peace of mind with their individuality. For women and men, itís the constant anxiety of íwill I be enough?í

CC: Considering you were raised by a single mother, what do you think are a womanís strongest attributes (other than her ability to bear children)?

C.J.: Their spirit and their innate, understanding and ability to date a guy who is not really in his greatest place but because they see that personís potential, they nurture that. Anything that God wanted to get done that was pivotal, as far as in human society, he incorporates the woman, and thatís why I say the spirit of a woman.

CC: Youíre a relationship expert. So, why do you think thereís a huge disparity between single or unwed black women to single or unwed white women?

CJ: I think itís a cultural difference. Black women are conditioned in an environment where you fight, itís survival, you crawlÖyou fight for every single inch to get it to work. For our Caucasian counterparts, theyíre in an environment where thereís going to be traditional family roles Ė grandmotherís present, grandfatherís present, mother, fatherís present.

CC: How do you think the previous question applies to Omarosa? Why do you think itís been difficult for her to find her ďperfectĒ match?

C.J.: I think when it comes to Omarosa, a lot of men get lost in her brand.

CC: So itís not real or genuine [men's interest]?

C.J.: Iím not saying itís not genuine, Iím just saying they get caught up in the hype.

CC: So, other than this show, The Ultimate Merger, did you ever have to compete for a womanís affection?

C.J.: Of course, of course. When is a man not competing for a womanís attention? Whether itís your motherís attention, your love interest in high schoolÖthatís a constant in every manís life.

CC: But have you ever had to compete with another guy to win over a woman?

C.J.: Yes. Absolutely.

CC: So this competition was no different for you. You went out there with confidence and you knew all that you had going for you and you went out there to battle.

C.J.: Exactly. Iím out there to put my best foot forward. You took the words right out of my mouth. Iím out there to battle.

CC: Can you share one of your 3-step social formula secrets to help realize oneís dream?

C.J.: I have a book coming out called ďHow to Turn Your Coffee Break into Your Big BreakĒ. One of the three steps is that you have to be able to identify the proper landscape thatís conducive for your dream or your overall goal. You have to know yourself. And you have to operate from a place of loyalty because if youíre motivated by money that will always end in disaster. When I meet people for the first time, my goal is to walk away with their heart and their curiosity in the first thirty seconds. The book teaches people how to go around the gatekeepers.

CC: What are the top three things you look for in a mate?

C.J.: Content, truth and vulnerability.

CC: When you say truth, you want to make sure sheís an honest person or that she is genuine and sincere?

C.J.: I donít want to meet a person whoís living a lie.

CC: Will you continue to do reality TV?

C.J.: If the situation was really unique. If the message of the show is right. More of a docu-series, something along those lines.

CC: Whatís the one thing about men that you wish more women would understand?

C.J.: Every guy wants to feel that when they let go of the facade, that women will stay.

To learn more about C.J. visit
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Tags: rejection, single mother, own destiny, self doubt, true beauty, mecca, abandonment, self awareness, abyss