Parenting a toddler – 5 causes of toddler tantrums?

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Toddler tantrums are one of the most difficult things to deal with when parenting a toddler. The best way of dealing with them is to avoid them, and to do that you need to know what causes them. Here are 5 causes of toddler tantrums:

1. Frustration
You know how frustrating it is when you are trying to get your computer to do something and it won't. Now imagine you are two years old. What tools have you got to deal with that frustration? Toddlers can't verbalise their frustration and they haven't learned the skills to walk away calmly and come back to something. When you are parenting a toddler you will see your child trying to do something and not having the skill to cope. This is one of the main causes of toddler tantrums, and can be avoided to a certain extent by noticing these things, helping and letting the child do it in stages.

2. Lack of verbal ability
Toddlers understand much more than they can express. When they are not understood or feel unable to say what they want, this often spills over into toddler tantrums. There aren't easy ways to avoid this, other than trying to understand words your child uses. Successfully parenting a toddler is often about intuition and knowing your child.

3. Hunger or tiredness
We all get grumpy when we're tired or hungry, but when a toddler is tired or hungry it can increase the chance of toddler tantrum. Be aware of this and try to avoid situations which may make it worse. For example, parenting a toddler needs to take into account the likely consequence of taking your child shopping when a meal or nap are due.

4. Wanting things they can't have
Chocolate, toys… Toddler tantrums are often caused by children wanting things they can't have. Before you say no, think about the request carefully. Is it really unreasonable for your child to have the item? Also, try to keep forbidden items out of sight. That isn't always possible when you go out, and if you had total control of outside environments then parenting a toddler would be much easier! Outside the home, distraction techniques are invaluable.

5. Attention seeking
This is the most talked about cause of toddler tantrums. Young children crave attention and if the only way they can get it is by having a tantrum, then that is what they will do, whether the resulting attention is positive or negative. You can help avoid this when parenting a toddler by making sure you give positive attention to your child at appropriate times, and ignore the tantrums. They will then realize that they won't achieve anything by having one.

Most children grow out of toddler tantrums once their language skills improve, and most toddlers have very few by the time they are three years old. You will then realize that parenting a toddler was actually great fun.

For more tips on parenting refer to my free e-book "New Parenting Style" on

About the author:
The author is a successful marketing executive and a mother of two boys. She has had a rough ride in the past two years and has successfully saved her family from the brink of disaster by working on her parenting techniques. You can access her free report "New Parenting Style" or buy her book "Solving Teenage Problems" on or check your "Parent Stress Intensity Quotient" for free on

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