Mexico Solves Immigration Problem; Becomes Part Of China

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In a startling announcement, President Vicente Fox of Mexico revealed that his nation has solved its immigration problem with the U. S. by requesting annexation as a province of China. On account of its new status, a plentitude of domestic jobs will be available.

He made the surprise announcement, not during his latest visit to America, however immediately upon returning to Mexico.

Mexicans by the tens of millions cheered the choice, throwing fiestas nationwide, with shouts of “Viva Mexico!” “Viva China!” And the air rang out with the triumphant neologism, “MexiChina, Ole!”

In his handle to the Mexican nation, President Fox stated, " In the present day, I announce that our nation has change into a proud province of China. Consequently, we could have greater than enough jobs to keep our hard-working people employed at house – and in significantly better jobs than they discover as migrant employees in the U. S.”

He went on to elucidate, “Now, it's time for American companies to put money into Mexico to the same extent that they put money into the rest of China. Finally, it is time for them to benefit from all a budget labor proper next door. Finally, it's time for Mexico to have countless new factories and, in time, as huge a commerce imbalance with America as the rest of China. Finally, the label “Made in Mexico” will come to stand for every little thing from knives and forks to Nikes.”

The Chinese language have been delighted by the Mexican provide, noting, “Acquiring Mexico as a province is even higher than conquering Taiwan. There’s extra low-cost labor there, and because it’s right in America’s backyard, we’ll have the ability to save on delivery charges. So we’ll have the ability to manufacture and ship goods even more cost effectively than we’ve been capable of with our personal low-cost labor.”

As anticipated, U. S. corporations instantly reacted to the possibility of outsourcing manufacturing to Mexico. As the CEO of an American company that was an early entrant into China acknowledged, “It’s completely great to know there’s a lot low-cost labor so near home. I never realized it till Mexico turned a part of China. You could be sure manufacturing orders from us will soon be heading down Mexico method!”

President Fox, when pressed by a reporter about how he thinks Mexican workers can evaluate with Chinese employees when it comes to their willingness to work lengthy hours for low pay, he replied, “What do you think the complete immigration downside proves? We’ve obtained millions of staff who're so dedicated they threat their lives to earn a relative pittance north of the border.”

The response from Washington was clearly negative. President Bush acknowledged, “Mexico is in this hemisphere and has no enterprise being part of China. As well as, we had been properly along the best way to fixing the border drawback with fences and the National Guard.”

A reporter questioned if the fence and the presence of the National Guard might have helped push Mexico towards China.

“In fact, not,” Mr. Bush contended. “We all know the fence is just not an obstacle to Mexican-American relations. It might only keep out the people who aren’t quick climbers, and that’s just a small minority.” Then, quoting poetry, as he usually does, he continued, “And, identical to Robert Frost said, ‘Good fences make good neighbors.’”

Democrats have been fast to castigate the President and Republicans everywhere.

Senator Edward Kennedy exclaimed, “I can’t tell you how upset I'm about this. If we had had wiser steerage from the White Home, we would have thought to advise our corporations a long time in the past that they didn’t have to export jobs clear to China, once they may find inexpensive labor right throughout the border in Mexico.”

Senator Charles Schumer, at all times prescient, famous, “I knew that fence would not be good for Mexican-American relations. As I mentioned throughout the Senatorial debates on immigration, the fence is basically just like the pistol permit laws. Criminals don’t line up for them. They just go get a gun. And Mexicans intent on changing into unlawful immigrants will find a approach to scamper over the wall and slip previous the Guard.”

Republican John McCain, straight from his clamorous reception at New York’s New School, said, “I think the truth that Mexico has become a province of China is probably not a good factor for the long run and I’m undecided it’s even good within the brief-term. In fact, we wouldn’t want Mexico to turn out to be a part of America, both, which, given the extent of unlawful immigration we have now, is definitely form of what is happening.”
Dick Cheney was solidly towards the annexation, stating, “This modification in nationhood is unacceptable. And, once something like this will get going, there’s no telling where it would stop. Next thing you already know Venezuela, Peru, and Cuba can be flying the Chinese language flag. We must prevail upon the Mexican authorities to recant. If the President asks, I’ll fly down there and inform President Fox this stuff myself.”

President Bush did not instantly comment on the Cheney offer, perhaps recalling the diplomatic disturbance the feisty Vice President created throughout his trip by means of Japanese European nations, when he overtly castigated Russian President Vladimir Putin for backsliding on democracy.

In the meantime, unlawful immigrants in the United States began to stream back to Mexico, so that they could be among the first to line up for the many new manufacturing unit jobs that may quickly be available. In a last-ditch effort to mollify the Mexican authorities, President Bush seemed to point that he may cancel building of America’s walled reply to the immigration problem. For the reason that wall is not necessary, there was some likelihood that the modification would meet with Senate approval.

An American who was opposed to immigration cheered the change. “The Mexicans are leaving town as quickly as they'll get their things together. What do I care if Mexico needed to grow to be a part of China to get them back into their very own nation?”

One other American, nonetheless, had a unique take. “I feel it’s a disgrace we didn’t think of exporting jobs to Mexico whereas it was nonetheless the land of tacos and enchiladas, not egg rolls, too.”

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