Mature Dating - Selflessness is the Way to Mature Love

Our entire society is based on the message that everything is about "me." We told this from a young age through movies, advertisements and other cultural messages. Many people end up in a serious mature dating relationship only to discover that they too are full of themselves. Each one of us is selfish. It's in our make up to look out for our best interest an to take of us before anyone else but the sad reality is that selfishness is actually the opposite of what it means to love. Most disagreements, arguments and breakup's can be traced back to defensive, selfish behaviors.

Recognize selfishness.
Many people wonder how they can decipher when they're being selfish. The answer is quiet simple. Whenever you place your wants, desires and longings in front of someone else's you're being selfish. Successful mature dating relationships are built on the principle of not seeking out their own interests but the interests of the one they love. Many people grow frustrated when they go out of their way to try to do something nice for the other person and then they don't get back what they think they deserve. In this case, the person doing the good act is still participating in a selfish act because their motive is still for their best interest.

Do it for love.
The starting place towards a healthy and successful relationship is to do whatever you do for the sake of loving the other person. At times you may feel like you're being taken advantage of (and you may be) but if your motive is for the sake of loving the other person you can be sure that you are planting seeds of love in the heart of the other person. Love needs to be the driving force in all successful relationships. Without true love that cares more for the other person than for yourself, it will be virtually impossible to go deep and grow in a mature dating relationship.

Sacrifice.
Another aspect of selflessness is sacrifice. You're not going to always get your way when it comes to different aspects in a relationship. Sometimes one person is going to have to make a sacrifice of time or their will. Be the first to give up what you really want in order to make the other person feel special and appreciated. When you willfully sacrifice on the behalf of another person, that person will begin to find trust and dependency in you. This is how a successful relationship is able to withstand the storm and fires of life. Practice giving yourself in sacrificial ways on a daily basis and in no time it will become second nature.

We all want to have successful mature dating relationship. We all want to develop strong and long lasting romance but it will require something of great value from us. Successful relationships just don't happen by coincidence - they are created on purpose with intentional steps and the submission of our will to one another.