I Want My Ex Girlfriend Back – Why Honesty is So Important

"If you could give just one piece of advice on how to get my ex girlfriend back, what would it be?" he asked me.

"Be honest," I immediately replied. "Otherwise, she has the right to rip you to shreds."

"That's mean," he sniffed.

I shook my head. "Well, let me tell you why she might react that way."

Most people know they should be honest. But to tell you the truth, many folks are so busy bending, twisting, and convincing themselves of their version of the truth, that what is true to one person is an outright lie to another. It's not right to lie to anyone, but especially to your girlfriend. So you need to get clear about what constitutes a lie, and how to avoid spreading them like the plague.

You are lying if you deliberately misrepresent the facts with the intention to deceive. That's clear enough, bubba. There is no reason to twist the truth, but there is reason to be cautious. There are times when being honest will hurt someone. Maybe a lot of times. And in our desire to avoid hurting someone we love, we lie. Dude, you are making it worse. You should never lie under any circumstances, but you should always decide when the truth might really hurt someone. Lying by omission (see below) is still lying, so in order to keep the air between you clear, try this method: You have something you're thinking of telling her. First run it through this test: 1) is it necessary? 2) is it kind? 3) is it the truth? If you can't answer "yes" to all three questions, than do not speak up. If she asks you a point blank question, don't try to squirm out of it. Just say, "I want to tell you the truth, but I'm afraid it would hurt you. Do you really want to hear it?" This gives her the opportunity to decide where the conversation will go.

You are also lying if you deliberately leave out important facts that would paint the picture more accurately. Don't argue with me on this, please. If you are withholding information so she won't know the whole truth (lying by omission), you'd better slap yourself and try again. I knew a guy who lied to his wife about being gay. Now that's bad. He claimed he never lied, that she just didn't ask. Wonder of it all, she was not angry about him being gay, she was angry that he had lied. The truth was more important to her. And it should be to you, too.

If "I want my ex girlfriend back" is your new mantra, you have to realize just how important this issue is. Honesty is the foundation of all good relationships, not just romantic ones. We all tell little white lies now and then to enhance a conversation, and that never hurts anyone. But when it comes to family and friends, and your girlfriend, never go there. Tell the truth.

"Okay, so telling the truth is important if I want to get my ex girlfriend back," you're thinking. "But it seems more complicated than that. What do I do?" There are quite a few things you can do to get her back, but how do you know what works and what doesn't? Playing the hit or miss game could be very painful here. So before you go any further, check out this step-by-step action plan at http://www.relationshipteam.com.