How To Deal With Your Man's Infidelity

Studies show that between 25% and 50% of divorcees in Western countries blame their partner's infidelity. According to Infidelity Facts, 36% of men and women report infidelity on business trips. When asked why they cheated, men commonly answer that they have lost desire for their partners, that they want spontaneity and fun, that they want adventure, that they want conquest, and most importantly, that they want sex.

The odds are strong that at some time or another, you will have to ponder infidelity's meaning.

Women who are victims of infidelity ask themselves whether to forgive their partners or painfully to put an end to their relationship. There are many things to consider. Whether you want it to or not, infidelity will affect your relationship with your partner. You have to deal with it or you will have trust problems in the future. But what if you are really struggling with the experience and just cannot get over it?

Here are some things you should consider before making a decision to forgive or not:

1. Your partner's character and personality -- you have learned much about your partner ever since you started dating, but that is not everything. Examine his background. Did he cheat on his ex-girlfriends before you met? Has he cheated on you before? Is he so self-centered he denies whatever issues that come on your relationship? Did he overcome temptations before? If he has the discipline and the will to say no to temptation, then he deserves to be given a chance.

2. Investigate motivation beyond actions -- His motivation is more important than the act itself. What if he just did it for something other than love for the other woman? What if he was pressured to? What if he did it to save you and your loved ones in some way? What if he was too intoxicated to make decent judgment? The most stunning question is, "What if the accusation was not true, and he was framed?" Always remember that what you heard or seen is not the whole story. You need to investigate before making any decisions.

3. Consider whether you emotionally and sexually satisfied him -- There are many cases that you can read on the internet about infidelity occurring because the spouse did not play their role as a partner in some way. When was the last time you had sex -- or even talked with each other? When you go into sexual relations with your partner are you willing to be inventive and make the sex more interesting and satisfying? If these are the reasons for his infidelity, then try to explore yourself. You can still save your relationship by doing your part. Humans are a love hungry species. Our spirits die when we do not feel loved.

4. Consider what is at stake -- The things at stake include your life, your identity, and your destiny as a whole. What does your marriage mean to you? Do you have children? Do you have a business or real estate? Do you care about what people say about you? The answer to these questions is very subjective. It differs from person to person. Only your heart can answer these questions.

5. Consider how sincere his sorrow is -- There are plenty of reasons to forgive and forget. Try to weigh your partner's effort in obtaining your forgiveness. What if he is really making an honest effort but you are pushing him away? Time is the best way to test him. You cannot completely forgive him overnight. It really needs time. The most important basis of weighing your partner's effort for winning your forgiveness is how he behaves after the event. Is he willing to wait patiently? Does he show his contrition over time without complaints? If so, he is really sincere.

Whether to forgive infidelity or not needs careful consideration. Consider your partner's character, motivations, and sincerity. Most importantly, consider all that you have at stake.


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Complicating the issue, males are biologically programmed both to be promiscuous and committed to a relationship at the same time, so understanding infidelity in men is a problem. This article was prepared by members of the Tips What Men Want team led by Thomas Christopher, a Colorado public speaker.