Communication Anxiety Can Be A Real Problem For People. Are You One Of Them?

Would you say that you deal with communication anxiety in your life? When facing new situations, do you find yourself getting all tongue-tied and start to feel sick? Communication anxiety shows up differently for everyone. Some feel horrified, some feel inept, some say it feels like they are suffocating and some get very angry. Road rage is a ridiculous form of communication anxiety. This insufferable behavior can be very brutal.

Murphy's Law states that communication anxiety will rear its ugly head at all the worst times and places. The most common are the job interview, a blind date, being held accountable for a mistake or unethical act, or when you find yourself needing to do some public speaking. Few people handle public speaking well.

I refer to this wellness category as INTERPERSONAL WELLNESS - OUR COMMUNICATION. It's an important category because individuals must relate to each other is most situations in life.

Interpersonal wellness or lack of it shows up in different forms. For some, it means they can't find the words and for others, it means they become verbose. Have you ever met someone who talks and talks and just keeps talking, even when no one is listening anymore. There is a term for this form of communication anxiety - cocktail party syndrome. We have all met these people before.

The pendulum swings far in both directions. In one corner, we have cocktail party syndrome and in the other corner, we have the quiet, shy mouse that never gets her needs met because she can never find the words. There are many variations on the theme and many levels of communication anxiety. Where do you fit? Do you feel you manage interpersonal wellness in your life? Have you ever even considered the topic?

Marketing guru, Faith Popcorn wrote a book a few years back called the Popcorn Report. In this book, she identified several consumer-buying trends that are shaping our world. The most important trend she talked about was "Cocooning", which is the need that people have, to stay in their homes as much as possible. This trend has brought about the success of many industries including, Internet-based social networking such as Twitter, MySpace and Facebook; the computer-based gaming industry; online shopping, distance education; and of course, our old friend, television.

The more fearful people become about leaving their homes and going out into the big, bad, dangerous world, the more problems that occur in the realm of interpersonal wellness. The farther people retreat into their comfort zones, the more communication anxiety they feel when they step out of it.

Lack of interpersonal wellness has caused more problems than you might think. Because they spend so little time with adults, many children are growing up not knowing how to communicate properly. As a result, many adults believe kids today to be disrespectful and rude. Young people going out into the world for their first jobs are having a terrible time because they lack basic self-management skills such as the ability to communicate effectively. No matter the age group or the situation, communication anxiety is gaining ground and interpersonal wellness is losing ground.

The biggest impact of this trend is an increase in stress levels in peoples' lives. Extreme ongoing life stress, particularly the bad kind (distress), leads to the build up of oxidative stress in the body, also known as free-radical damage. This oxidative stress is a key factor in the formation of one or more chronic degenerative diseases, such as asthma or diabetes or arthritis. These chronic degenerative diseases, of which there are more than 70 known versions, steal quality of life and lead to death. The vicious cycle is so unnecessary.

How can we return to a state of interpersonal wellness, individually and as a society; and eliminate or reduce communication anxiety? How can we reduce stress caused by our inability to communicate effectively with others?

Solving any wellness challenge is simply a matter of learning some critical thinking and problem solving skills. First, we all need to learn more about our own style of communicating. We live in a world of blame and we look for scapegoats at all cost. It's time to take responsibility for ourselves. Are you aggressive, passive aggressive or controlling? Are you lazy, arrogant, or miserable? None of these is a problem unless we don't take responsibility for them. None of these styles is bad in small doses, either, but if your communication style is consistently one of these models, then it's time to look at learning a new way to communicate.

It's time to get that chip off your shoulder. Your neighbour did not create your lousy childhood memories; your children are not responsible for your failed hopes and dreams; and your coworkers are not responsible for your bad attitude and lousy marks while you were in school. So stop taking out your past on the people around you. Instead, look to the future and build a new style.

Interpersonal wellness is a choice, just as living with communication anxiety is a choice. Achieving and maintaining interpersonal wellness is simply a matter of learning a few new skills. Once you do, you will see that you do have the power to take back control of your health and your life. After all, we are all accountable, are we not?

Jill Prince is the "PRINCE OF WELLNESS." She is the author and founder of http://www.strictly-stress-management.com and Solving the Wellness Challenge (TM). Through these companies, Jill teaches people how to solve all their wellness challenges using effective problem solving tools and techniques based on sound business and project management theories. Jill is, currently, a student in a Master's of Business Administration (MBA) Degree program through the University of Athabasca and she is a graduate of the E-Myth Worldwide Business Mastery Impact Program (2008).