Change: The Other Dirty Word

What comes to mind when you hear the word change? Are you fearful? Excited? Does you blood run cold or do you hear yourself saying, "I like things just the way they are."? Is "change", the other dirty word?

Most of us find change hard. Not necessarily because we do not want to change but because it is sailing into the unknown. Who knows what is going to be around the next bend in the road? We are most likely to rail against changes that are going to have an adverse effect on our lives.

It's easy to see why someone would be upset if they lost their job. It is one of those unexpected changes in life, just something that changes without our control. One thing we didn't see coming, one that we were not prepared for. It is natural to be resistant, be angry, or every scared as you travel into the mysterious future without the security that was once there.

Most people continue on, find a new job and most times find out that the change turned out to be a good one. Maybe they found an even better job, maybe they found a job that allows them be with their family more, or they decided to go back to school. Sometimes its easier to change when you are pushed into a corner.

So, if what seems like a negative change can turn out to be a positive, then why is it that people fight making positive changes in their lives, as well? Why do we not change things that we do not like in our lives? What makes us procrastinate the changes that could make our lives better? What do we fear?

Often times it is the fact that we fear failure, even though it is not consciously known. What if we fail to make our dreams a reality? What happens to that dream then? Is that what you fear? The lost of a dream? Trying and failing?

It is natural in human nature to think the worst. Failure would mean the death of a dream. But, what if you tried and succeed?

It is possible, isn't it? People do it everyday, they accomplish their goals, and they reach their dreams. They choose to push pass the fear of failure, the fear of loosing a dream, and bring into reality what was only a vision in their mind.

So, how do we push past the fear, the doubt, and the anxiety of changing our lives for the better, while expecting the worst? What makes us take that leap of faith? Usually, it is a realization that, "its just not working anymore". Whether it, is a career, a relationship, or even something within themselves. It is evident that there needs to be a change, in order to fulfill the yearning to find what is missing in their lives. That is what motivates people to get through the fear of moving forward instead of just towing the status quo.

Break it down in steps. Just saying, "I want a better job." is a daunting goal, unless you break down it down into the steps that will lead you there. Utilize the tools or skills that are going to move your towards that big goal at the end. If you goal is to get a better job, then determine what you need to do it. Would having your degree help put you in that better job? What about improving your skills? By breaking your goals down into steps, it will increase your changes to achieve because you are laying down the foundation on which your goal or dreams can be built on. Without a good foundation your aspirations might not have the support then need to grow and flourish.

Being determined, willing, and committed to change. Change is not an easy course of action. It is the process of breaking old habits and replacing them with better routines that will lead you towards what you want to accomplish. You did not create those old habits over night, it has been months or years of "practice", of them becoming routine to you. Change is not going to happen overnight, it too will take practice.

If for example you are trying to change the habit of always looking at the negative, then you will have to actually practice flipping that immediate habit of negative thinking or perception into a positive way of thinking. It takes work, it takes time, and it takes persistence. You will have to remind yourself of what the benefits of maintaining a positive perception will give you.

Stay motivated by reminding yourself what accomplishing each step is going to mean to you. Will you be happier? More confident? What will that lead you to? With more confident will you be able to be more successful? Will it be a stepping stone to something bigger and better? Will it make changing your life easier?

Get the support that you need. Most people let pride stand in their way of asking for help. There has always been and always will be people in our life that shows us examples of over coming adversity, that help us find our personal strength. Surround yourself with people that have accomplished what you are trying to do. Seek out people that uses the skills that you want to develop. Be around people that tend to bring out the best in you. Spend time with people that will not give up on you and will tell you all the reasons that you should not give up on yourself or your dreams.

Above all, you have to believe in yourself. Find the strength you need within yourself. Empower yourself to follow that path to life improvement through change. Take it one step at a time. We only need the courage to over come that fear and to take those steps that will lead to a better future. Tap into your strength. Believe in yourself and in your power to overcome obstacles. Believe that you can design the life you want and get to your heart's desire at the end of the path called change.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR ~ Tonya Ramsey is a life coach and owner of Life By Design and provides life coaching for working mothers. She believes in helping mothers realize their worth and works with them to overcome obstacles so they can accomplish their goals. Coach Tonya is also a proud member of The Digital Mom Team a team of mothers working together to be able to provide their families with income while staying home with their children. To contact Coach Tonya about life coaching or about the business opportunity from The Digital Mom Team, send an e-mail to CoachTonya@lifebydesignsite.com