by Mark Sichel, LCSW
www.marksichel.com
1. Persistence
Samuel Clemens (also known as Mark Twain) once said that achievement
is 99 percent perspiration and one percent inspiration. Being
persistent and getting through frustrations and set backs and
sweating whatever difficulties you encounter will get you where you
want to go.
2.The Capacity to Dream
If you're really motivated, you can find answers to life's dilemmas
through your dreams. Our unconscious minds are much smarter than we
are in our waking hours. My computer consultant was once stumped by a
problem with my computer. He dreamt the answer!
3. The Ability to Nourish Ourselves and Others
The ultimate parental challenge! Use that red pencil of yours to
circle and highlight everything that you and your loved ones do
that's RIGHT. It's as simple as praising your dog when he toilets on
the street and ignoring him when he has an accident on your priceless
Persian rug. This activity goes on (hopefully) in every therapist's
office, employee evaluation session, and classroom in this country:
highlighting what is right with a person or situation instead of
focusing on mistakes that can't be changed..
4. Competitiveness with Self
With the willingness and determination to compete with yourself on
whatever the task of your choice, you will get better and better all
the time. This means a real disregard of that old narcissistic need
for applause, adoration, and worship.
5. The Ability to Love
Freud said that the reason for his phenomenal success was that his
mother was madly in love with him. Parental love is a key element in
fostering amazing accomplishments in children. It also translates to
self-love; adults can learn to parent themselves in a similar
fashion.
6. Integrity
In these frenetic times, achievement and accomplishment become such a
driving force that we often overlook the basic values of integrity
and honesty. Extraordinary people never take shortcuts and will not
compromise on their personal belief systems. When an extraordinary
achiever wants to create his or her vision, compromise and dishonesty
are out of the picture.
7. Gratitude
Those who cannot achieve are burdened by envy; those who can achieve
feel tremendous gratitude for that which they've been endowed. People
who get swallowed up by the "Green Monster" remain unable to achieve
and excel; they slowly wither away with self-pity, resentment, and
feelings of deprivation. On the other hand, people who can emulate
those whom they envy often achieve their goals.
8. Aspiration
You can learn a great deal about yourself by examining that which you
aspire to. Do you aim high? You should. Why not? Aspirations are our
hopes and dreams; they are fuel for our joy and contentment. If you
tend to aim low, think about why that might be. Children whose
aspirations are encouraged, supported, and nurtured are confident in
achieving their goals. Children who hear statements like, "You could
never do that," or "You're not smart enough to do that," soon give up
on reaching their goals and eventually forget what they ever were in
the first place. If you've forgotten what your aspirations were, it's
never too late to resurrect them. Aspire and achieve.
9. The Ability to Give
Money, power, fame and glory is not enough to make you happy. Those
elements, of course, tend to help make things easier and I, for one,
would not disavow any of them. However, surprisingly, all of the
money and power in the world is not what tends to motivate the
greatest of achievers. The artist, scientist, businessman,
politician, writer, doctor or what have you who truly feels great
about his or her achievements almost always focuses on giving
something back to the world. Being able to make a lasting
contribution is the best motivator on earth. Truly impressive
achievers give something back to the world in vision, scope, and
inspiration.
10. Focus
Those who succeed in their aspirations and reach their goals do so
with blinders on. While great achievers tend to have a generalist's
hunger for knowledge and a curiosity for all that's happening in the
world, they also possess a precision of focus when they set
themselves to a task and are determined to achieve a goal.
All of us who've survived into the 21st Century are exceptional,
whether we know it or not. We each possess the above characteristics
in some measure. Our job in the new millennium is to nurture these
qualities to further develop excellence in our lives.
Copyright 2005: Mark Sichel is a psychotherapist, consultant, and
speaker on a broad range of issues related to family, mental health,
and interpersonal problems. He is the editor and principal author of
the award winning self-help website, www.psybersquare.com. For a
more detailed guide to overcoming the panic brought on by
dysfunctional family experiences, read Mark Sichel's new book,
Healing From Family Rifts : Ten Steps to Finding Peace After Being
Cut Off From a Family. For more information about this book visit
the author's website: www.marksichel.com