Arranged Marriage

This kind of marriages need more help from Swamiji Sri Selvam Siddhar.

Before arranging marriage the match making of horoscopes is a must. Now

days the astrologers match the stars only. They do not match the

horoscopes. According to the Vedas it is not a proper procedure. Arranged

marriage is a marriage arranged by someone other than the couple getting

wedded, curtailing or avoiding the process of courtship. Such marriages

had deep roots in most of the families around the world. The arranged

marriage is practiced widely in South Asia, and the Middle East to some

extent. It should not be confused with the phenomenon of forced marriage.

The match could be selected by parents, a matchmaking agent, matrimonial

site, or a trusted third party. In many communities, priests or religious

leaders as well as relatives or family friends play a major role in

matchmaking. The pattern of arranged marriage can be employed for other

reasons besides the formation of a promising new family unit. In such

marriages, typically economic or legal reasons take precedence over the

goal of selecting a well-matched couple. Though critics are not always

specific, criticism of arranged marriage usually targets abuses such as

forced marriage and child marriage.

In a "forced marriage" the parents choose their son's or daughter's future

spouse with no input from their son or daughter. This form of arranged

marriage is rare in the modern Western world, but not quite as rare in

some other parts of the world. Occasionally, even if the son or daughter

disapproves of the choice, the marriage takes place regardless, overriding

their objections. In some societies, in order to ensure cooperation the

parents may threaten the child with punishment, or in rare cases,

disinheritance and death. Motivating factors for such a marriage tend to

be social or economic, i.e., the interests of the family or community

goals served by the marriage are seen as paramount, and the preference of

the individual is considered insignificant. In a "child marriage"

children, or even infants, are married. The married children often live

apart with their respective families until well after puberty. Child

marriages are typically made for economic or political reasons. In rural

India and several other countries, the requirement of providing a dowry

for daughters is generally acknowledged to be a contributing factor to

female infanticide. In East Africa a form of arranged marriage known as

absuma is set up between cousins at birth.

In a "shotgun wedding" the groom is forced to marry the bride due to

unplanned pregnancy (or other reasons). It is given this colloquial name

from the traditional method of force used: holding a shotgun to the

groom's head until he is married. This can also be classified as a forced

marriage. Although it is worth noting that the concept came about before

the invention of the shotgun. Laws of Old Testament Israel said that if an

unmarried couple engages in extramarital sex the female can force the man

to marry her or pay a fine. A reason is never given in the text, but it is

likely predicated on the text's specification that the woman was a virgin;

no longer being a virgin, it would be difficult for her to find a

marriage, and so her sexual partner must marry her to provide for her

well-being. Alternatively, it could be based on family honor, i.e. it was

shameful for her to have had relations without being married, and it would

be all the more shameful if she had a child out of wedlock. The main

variation in procedure between arranged marriages is in the nature and

duration of the time from meeting to engagement.

In an "introduction only" arranged marriage, the parents may only

introduce their son or daughter to a potential spouse. The parents may

briefly talk to the parents of the prospective spouse. From that point on,

it is up to the children to manage the relationship and make a choice.

There is no set time period. This is still common in the rural parts of

North America, South America and especially in India. The same pattern

also appears in Japan. This type of arranged marriage is very common in

Iran also. This open-ended process takes considerably more courage on the

part of the parents, as well as the prospective spouses, in comparison to

a fixed time-limit arranged marriage. Women and men fear the stigma and

emotional trauma of going through a courtship and then being rejected.

A more moderate and flexible procedure known as a "modern arranged

marriage" is gaining in popularity. Parents choose several possible

candidates or employ a marriage website. The parents will then arrange a

meeting with the family of the prospective mate, confining their role to

responsible facilitators and well-wishers. Less pressure to agree to the

match is exerted by the parents in comparison to a traditional arranged

marriage.

In some cases, a prospective partner may be selected by the son or

daughter instead of by the parents or by a matchmaker. In such cases, the

parents will either disapprove of the match and forbid the marriage or,

just as likely, approve the match and agree to proceed with the marriage.

Such cases are distinct from a love marriage because courtship is

curtailed or absent and the parents retain the prerogative to forbid the

match.

In cultures where dating is not prevalent, arranged marriages perform a

similar function--bringing together people who might otherwise not have

met. In such cultures, arranged marriage is viewed as the norm and

preferred by young adults. Even where courtship practices are becoming

fashionable, young adults tend to view arranged marriage as an option they

can fall back on if they are unable or unwilling to spend the time and

effort necessary to find spouses on their own. In such cases, the parents

become welcome partners in a hunt for marital bliss. Further, in several

cultures, the last duty of a parent to his or her son or daughter is to

see that he or she passes through the marital rites.

In some cultures, arranged marriage is a tradition handed down through

many generations. Parents who take their son or daughter's marriage into

their own hands have themselves been married by the same process. Many

parents and children likewise, feel pressure from the community to

conform, and in certain cultures a love marriage or even courtship is

considered a failure on the part of the parents to maintain control over

their child. In such cultures, children are brought up with these cultural

assumptions and so do not feel stifled.

Parents in some communities fear social and/or religious stigma if their

child is not married by a certain age. Several cultures deem the son or

daughter less likely to find a suitable partner if he or she is past a

certain age, and consider it folly to try to marry them off at that stage.

In these societies, including China, the intra generational relationship

of the family is much more valued than the marital relationship. The whole

purpose of the marriage is to have a family. Before entering into an

arranged marriage there are many aspects to analyze. These factors are

reputation, vocation; Concept, Religious History, Wealth, Religion:

Horoscope, Dietary preference, Height, Age difference, Language and there

many other factors for an arranged marriage. We will see more details

about all these factors.

Reputation: Reputation is the opinion of the public toward a person, a

group of people, or an organization. It is an important factor in many

fields, such as education, business, online communities or social status.

It is known to be a ubiquitous, spontaneous and highly efficient mechanism

of social control in natural societies. Reputation is a fundamental

instrument of social order, based upon distributed, spontaneous social

control.

A vocation: A vocation as defined in a religious environment is an

occupation for which a person is suited, trained or qualified. Often those

who follow a religious vocation have an inclination to undertake the work,

often called a calling. This type of vocation is either professional or

voluntary and can include many different religious backgrounds.
Vocations can be seen as fulfilling a psychological or spiritual need for

the worker, and the term can also be used to explain any occupation for

which a person is specifically gifted. While matching horoscopes, Swamiji

Sri.Selvam Siddhar pays a special attention to vocation, because vocation

is the major factor which decides the peaceful living of the couple.
Concept of Vocation: The idea of vocation is central to the human belief

that God has created each person with gifts and talents oriented toward

specific purposes and a way of life. Particularly in the Atharva Veda this

idea of vocation is especially associated with a divine call to service to

the humanity through particular vocational life commitments such as

marriage to a particular person, consecration as a religious and spiritual

couple. According to Swamiji Sri.Selvam Siddhar’s words, “by leading a

spiritual life, one can lead a comfortable life. There is no caste, creed

or religion to lead a spiritual life. If everybody adopts a spiritual

life, the world will be the park of peace.” As a Commander of philosophy

and spirituality, Selvam Siddhar (Dr.Commander Selvam) gives this command

to the humanity. In the broader sense, vocation includes the use of one’s

gifts in their profession, family life, social and religious commitments

for the sake of the greater common good.
The idea of a vocation or "calling" has been pivotal in all parts of the

world. Swamiji Selvam Siddhar, as a scholar of Atharva Veda teaches that

each individual is expected to fulfill his God-appointed task in everyday

life. Although the concept of the calling emphasized vocation, there was

no particular emphasis on labor beyond what was required for one's daily

bread. As an Atharva Veda scholar, Swamiji Siddhar defines the role of

"The human in his vocation." He notes that God has prescribed appointed

duties to men and styled such spheres of life vocations or callings.

Wealth: The meaning of the word at its simplest, that which satisfies

human needs and wants of utility. In popular usage, wealth can be

described as an abundance of items of economic value, or the state of

controlling or possessing such items, usually in the form of money, real

estate and personal property. An individual who is considered wealthy,

affluent, or rich is someone who has accumulated substantial wealth

relative to others in their society or reference group. Wealth can be

categorized into three principal categories: personal property, including

homes or automobiles; monetary savings, such as the accumulation of past

income; and the capital wealth of income producing assets, including real

estate, stocks, and bonds. All these delineations make wealth an

especially important part of social stratification. Wealth provides a type

of safety net of protection against an unforeseen decline in one’s living

standard in the event of job loss or other emergency and can be

transformed into home ownership, business ownership, or even a college

education. According to Selvam Siddhar this physical wealth is nothing. It

is just a commodity required to pull on the life. None can buy the “punya”

or blessings with the wealth but any body can buy wealth with the “punya”

or blessings.

Richness can also refer at least basic needs being met with abundance

widely shared. The opposite of wealth is destitution. The opposite of

richness is poverty. The term implies a social contract on establishing

and maintaining ownership in relation to such items which can be invoked

with little or no effort and expense on the part of the owner. The concept

of wealth is relative and not only varies between societies, but will

often vary between different sections or regions in the same society. A

personal net worth of US $10,000 in most parts of the United States would

certainly not place a person among the wealthiest citizens of that locale.

However, such an amount would constitute an extraordinary amount of wealth

in impoverished developing countries. Only because of the US $ value in

Indian currency a lot of brides and grooms from India wish to have their

life partner from USA. The planets are the only reason to have the life

partner from a foreign country.

Concepts of wealth also vary across time. Modern labor-saving inventions

and the development of the sciences have enabled the poorest sectors of

today's society to enjoy a standard of living equivalent if not superior

to the wealthy of the not-too-distant past. This comparative wealth across

time is also applicable to the future; given this trend of human

advancement, it is likely that the standard of living that the wealthiest

today enjoy will be considered rude poverty by future generations.


For more information and FREE learning & to know more about these, you may please visit website:

http://www.drcommanderselvam-marriage.org

Dr.commander selvam

Commander selvam

Sriselvam siddhar