Ending the Relationship: Dodging As Much Pain As Possible

For both the concerned parties, the finishing of a relationship signifies a lot of pain, emotional turmoil, hard times and stress. regardless of the fact that you are the one who chooses to make the call to stop the relationship or whether you are the one who gets dumped with, the end of a romantic relationship is a trying and painful time for all.

Ending a relationship can be involve a lot of hindrances and one must use the best possible way out of it in order to stave off an emotional drama.

If you are mulling over the best way to call the shots on the relationship with your lover, it is understood that you have thought your decision through. This means that you have decided that you completely wish to finish the relationship and make a fresh start without your partner. Once you have finalized this, it is important not to change your mind. You should not permit your partner to sweet-talk you back into the relationship but neither should you hurt their feelings more than necessary.

You must initiate with telling them that you have found that the relationship is going nowhere and that you need to take some time alone and away from them to work out out what went wrong. You can also tell them that you don�t feel like yourself and take the blame onto yourself.

This can lead to two things: They may understand and disappear from your life or they will try to make things better by calling endlessly or sending notes continuously. What you must do is thank them and do not react further. If you give in, it will ruin your chances of stopping the relationship.

Next, they might say that they realise your need for space and advise that you lower the number of dates in a week, take a hiatus or take advice from a pro. It is essential to not give in because if you do, it will make them feel that as long as they can reach you, there is a chance.

Another way they may employ is to send you on a major guilt trip. Every time the phone rings, you will hear their voice telling you how much they love you, what they have accomplished for you and given up for you. They will also try to make you feel bad about how you gave them false hope, did not make a true effort to work things out and also about how you humiliated them by breaking up.

You must keep in mind at this point that there is no point in explaining your side of the story. This will only give them another chance to change your mind or influence your thinking. At this point of time, they are only focusing on their feelings. So you must not fall into the trap and save your breath by holding your peace.

They might also try to win you back by promising gifts, marriage etc. However, you must not lose control and recall how they normally are. It is fundamental to remember that people make an effort to amend for a limited period of time in order to get what they want but once they do, they go back to their old ways.

During this time, it makes sense to surround yourself with friends in order to gain moral support or to seek professional help as you will need people who believe in you.

You must also should not forget not to use words like "in the future" or "someday" as this may make them feel that you are going back on your word and giving into them. You may do this in order to calm them down but they will see it as an opportunity to try harder. Keep saying the same thing and keep highlighting the fact that you do not wish to be with them as this will help to ultimately end the relationship.

In the long run too, it is advised that if you run into them, give ambiguous answers to their queries and do not give them details about it.

After you have successfully finished the relationship, you may feel that your self-esteem is low or that your have low self confidence.If so, it's highly advised that visit a psychiatrist or counselor as they will help you recover.

If you regret ending the relationship and still want to get him back there is pleanty of information on the get ex back site.