Hey, Chubby, I Got Your Back

Our world here in the good old US of A doesn't include love and acceptance of a fat woman. In fact, quite the opposite is true and I'm confident each of you could share your stories about the lack of acceptance you've experienced. Without our even requesting it, we receive free advice and opinion from our doctors, our friends, our family and sometimes from perfect strangers! This activity occurs from the outside IN and it's exactly opposite of the direction that will work more harmoniously for us large people.

When these unrequested opinions travel down inside us, the journey is seldom made without hurt, anger, self-recrimination and a few smacks from the old I'm-not-good-enough wet noodle. We take in what the other has said to and about us, classify it as right and just, and then score a minus point on our report cards.

This habit needs some undoing. Okay, so you're fat. This isn't all that you are. You're also talented, smart, cute, loving, generous, sympathetic, warm-hearted, jolly, a great business woman - shall I go on? Have you ever considered why words about our fat seem to have double the wallop, when by sheer weight of numbers, our virtues and talents far outweigh this one area - being fat? Now this question really deserves some soul searching.

Our society is an effect-based society. How you look, what you drive, which clothing you wear, what school you graduated from - these effects are held in much higher honor than what you are as an individual. That's kind of a shame, because it is one huge error we've all made. The truth about you is that you are a thinking individual, and because your thinking is causing the way you look as well as the experiences you have in your life, I'd like to encourage you to take a few moments to get your own sweet self back into the driver's seat of your life and let all this effect-based stuff waft over you like so many goose down feathers! Poof! No recognition from you and they are gone.

Here are some practical steps you can consider taking when someone tells you their opinion about your size and what you ought to do about it: - You can reply "I hear you, but I don't agree with your narrow perspective."."

- You can think "That is telling me lots about you but it has nothing to do with me" smiling all the while.

- You can say within your Self the precise opposite of their words to turn back the hurt you might be feeling.

I suspect that no matter which of the ugly words I choose to describe your body's condition - stout, portly, heavy, large, overweight, obese. - you might have taken offense. That's not my intention. The words exist. It's important you don't add more to their sting by taking offense. As one famous training once said "There's no difference between f*** and spaghetti. It's how YOU view it." Please don't get so buried by somebody else's words and miss the point that they have a very narrow perspective.

I think you are special just the way you are. Begin right now at the size you are to learn to love and accept yourself. It's okay to be okay AND fat. Somebody else's lack of acceptance doesn't have to spill on to you.


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Pat Matson's passion is spiritual awareness and understanding, acquired in the School of Fat Knocks. Being obese was the catalyst that kept her searching. She shares her novel concepts with other women of size, or women who imagine they are. Her book, workbooks, and teleclasses each more keenly insightful than the next live at The World of Within.