Can we think ourselves lucky?

We will continue our weekly free online dating advice column with the following topic: Can we think ourselves lucky?

I just read yet another magazine article that claims our mindset is responsible for our luck: think positively and expect the objects of your desire to materialize shortly.

It's true, and it's not magic. I've done it before, and these days I'm trying to do it again. In fact, everything I've achieved in life - and right now I happen to be in a pretty good place - I manifested by stoically believing that my heart's desires will become a reality in my life, even if at times the reality appeared hopeless. I have everything I want, except one thing.

There is one area of my life that hasn't worked, and that is relationships with the opposite sex. Oh sure, I've been married and divorced several times, but I proved bad at holding out for the guy I really wanted, so I accepted less because I was in a hurry and didn't truly believe in that mythical guy anyway. All I ended up doing is finding myself single again in my 40s. I have awesome children, so I can't complain. Besides, I learned an awful lot of important lessons, and that's the reason I feel qualified handing out free online dating advice.

I once thought this one guy was the 'it' guy. Things sizzled, almost got serious, then fizzled due to circumstances, and we split, but I regretted it. I got over that very quickly after I'd looked up my ex's online public records - as a joke. That's when I found out that he was a convicted felon, and a child molester. I never would have believed that about him in a million years! It didn't make any sense: he'd habitually dated older women.

So, I guess my big free online dating advice of the week is: until you are absolutely sure the guy is the one you'd really hoped for, get him checked out online, make sure he has no criminal record, especially not THAT kind. I believe my fears were still responsible for attracting that guy. I was not in the right state of mind to be in my truly positive creation mode when I met him.

I am going to make another attempt to manifest the man of my dreams in my reality. This time around I've seen enough of what I don't want and will be happy to stick with my singlehood for good rather than be in an unhappy relationship. So, I am envisioning the person I want to be with in my mind. I think about him as if he really exists and has the qualities I find important in a partner. Eventually I will meet that person. Only now I am truly ready to see this through. I'll let you know how that goes. Please let me know how things are going for you.