How Are You Connecting With Others?

In almost everything we do we are building a relationship with someone - at work, at home, or places we frequent on a regular basis. In many ways, the stronger the relationships, our chance of success in the tasks we are looking to accomplish improves and the better position we find ourselves in.

Connecting with others happens on two levels - the first being more superficial - our personalities, how we look or act, our hobbies or interests, sharing similar situations, or having our children is some sport or activity. For the most part we find ourselves interacting with others due to one or more factors. As long as those factors stay constant, for the most part we will continue the relationship.

The second level is much more personal as we relate to others based upon beliefs, or the "how and why" we conduct ourselves the way we do. The external "stuff" is mainly ignored and a much closer and more intimate relationship is developed. Once developed, this relationship will be stronger and endure more than the first level.

So, how do we do it - this connecting with other individuals? With people we interact with it starts with common interests or being at the same place at the same time. It is easy to talk to the other parents while Billy and Johnny are chasing the soccer ball. The conversation is light as you gain a few facts about the other individual or family. After 60 minutes you say "good-bye" and "see you next week". Or, perhaps you find yourself at work with a group of others with a common task to achieve, or on a much more serious note in the waiting room of the hospital waiting for word from the doctors about the status of a loved one. In these cases, people talk to each other and share common tasks, activities, or challenges. As the relationship continues, individuals share various parts of their lives. For some, the bond or relationship will continue outside of the common event allowing for a stronger relationship to be built.

With a base built from the first level, individuals can move forward and learn additional information about the other person. As an example, you go to the same church as many other members, yet there may be only a small group that you really connect with which develops into stronger friendships and relationships. This occurs over time as you understand you share the same belief and values. A connection begins which you really can't explain, yet you feel a tie to the other person(s). You can feel the pain or joy of the other individual as you are now connected at a much higher level. You may or may not have experienced the same situations in your life, but the caring and supportive feelings you express to others allows you to stand beside them in times of trials and successes.

But what if we are unable to physically be in the presence of each other - with today's technology we are conversing with others in other parts of the country or the world. As stated above, you begin with common factors and interests. Over time you advance through the first level and into the second. For individuals who have Internet based businesses, you may have found other team members through social networks, your blogs or your articles without ever having met the individual. Yet, starting with some common factor, you are able to feel as close to that individual as one who lives just down the street.

In all aspects of connecting with others, we need to present our true self for the relationships to grow and flourish. If you are not honest, at some point the side that you have been hiding will slip out and your relationships will be damaged or destroyed. If those individuals are involved in a business relationship, you can lose your team and business almost overnight.

To connect with others, simply be who you are, share your true thoughts and feelings, and demonstrate a caring attitude to others. Take the first step and share a bit about yourself - if the other person is not interested or the timing for them is poor, they may not respond. Understand you will not develop close relationships or a connection with all people. But for those you do, you will enjoy a special bond.



Neil Graber, Life Style Mentor and Successful Entrepreneur, is helping many become the next success story. Whether you're looking to create an extra few thousand dollars per month, be an ex-corporate executive, or the next millionaire Mom, Neil can assist you to create a second stream of income and greater peace of mind. visit : Success