DATING TIPS FOR SINGLES AND THOSE IN A RELATIONSHIP
Copyright © 2005-2006 by Hafiz lecky
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TABLE OF CONTENT
CHAPTER ONE
Page 1-3 Understanding singleness
CHAPTER TWO
Page 3-97 wisdom capsules
UNDERSTANDING
SINGLENESS
Life is lived in stages with each stage being very unique and at the same time training ground for the next stage of life.
Failure to make the most of all available opportunities in a stage might mean entering the next stage adequate preparation.
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
Eccl:3:1
Singleness means to be separate, unique and whole. It is a major stage of life wherein one is divinely equipped for the next stage of life-marriage. Some marry too early, only to discover that they have missed some vital knowledge or experience during the single stage of their lives, but nobody wins a battle by manufacturing weapons on the battlefield.
Hence, these people have to use the early stage of their marriage to acquire what could have been acquired much earlier.
He hath made every thing beautiful in his time:
Eccl 3:11
Singleness is beautiful and possesses certain unique opportunities, which every wise single person should avail himself/herself to became whole. YOU CANNOT BE A YOUTH OR SINGLE TWICE! This is because there is a beauty in each stage of life that is absent in the other. There is a time to be single.
When one gets married, there are some advantages of singleness that marriage removes while it replaces them with the advantage which follow marriage but are absent in the singleness because they are ignorant of the blessings of singleness.
Singleness is not a sin,
Singleness is not a curse
Singleness is not a sickness,
Singleness is not a problem,
Singleness is not a limitation.
It is only a necessary passage in the process of life.
For I would that all me were even as myself.
But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after
This manner and another after that.
1 Cor. 7:6-7
I wish everyone could get along without marring,
just as I do. But we are not all the same. God gives
some the gift of a husband or wife, and others he
gives the gift to stay happily unmarried.
1 Cor.7:6-7 LB
Singleness is a gift from God and has its own grace.
You can be single and solid
You can be single and sound
You can be single and successful
You can be single and whole
You can be single and fulfilled.
Before moving on into marriage.
But I would have you without. He that
is unmarried careth for the things that belong to
the Lord, how he may please the Lord. But he that
is married careth for the things that are of the
world, how he may please his wife.
1 Cot. 7:32-33 LB
One of the many blessings of singleness which every wise single should make use of is that it affords you the sole opportunity of serving the Lord with singleness of heart void of the distractions of marital responsibilities. When one gets married, the joy of responsibilities is also a blessing, however, we must try to get the maximum blessings of each stage.
The single stage is the time you have to give your all to God, in service to him and the Kingdom. AS A SINGLE IN THE CHURCH. YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE TO BE A FAILURE.
MARRIAGE IS GLORIOUS, BEAUTIFUL, MARVELLOUS, EXCITING, TREMENDOUS, MAJESTIC, SWEET AND ADVENRUROUS BUT SO ALSO IS SINGLENESS. SO ENJOY SINGLENESS BEFORE THE TRANSLATION INTO THE JOY OF MARRIAGE.
For you to be able to enjoy your singleness before moving on to enjoy marriage to its fullest, wisdom must be in place and you must have adequate preparation.
Never mourn your singleness, because IT IS BETTER TO BESINGLE AND HOPING TO BE MARRIAGE THAN TO BE MARRIED AND PRAYING TO BE SINGLE. You need wisdom to have a successful single life and a glorious marital future. Come with me as we feast on " Wisdom Capsules" for divine empowerment.
DON'T ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE PUT UNDER PRESSURE
We live in a world of pressure. Pressure from peers, society, finance, family and many more. However, we must not allow any of these pressures to affect us negatively. We must manage the pressure and deal with it before it deals with us. As a single person, you need not allow yourself to be pressurized into marriage just because everyone around you seems to be getting married.
You must understand that God deals with everyone in His Kingdom individually and uniquely. IF YOU APPEAR BEFORE YOUR TIME, YOU WILL DISAPPEAR. So don't move ahead of God! Ignore all pressure from family and others and WAIT ON GOD and His divine timing, because God makes all things beautiful in His time.
If you marry outside your divine timing, your marriage will lack the divinely ordained beauty - so RELAX, and God's grace will see you through.
Avoid PEER PRESSURE
Avoid PARENTAL PRESSURE
Avoid SEXUAL PRESSURE
Avoid ECONOMIC PRESSURE
Avoid SOCIAL PRESSURE
Avoid SPIRITUAL PRESSURE
No matter the pressure it to yield only to God.
GUYS SHOULD NOT LEAD LADIES ON WITH WRONG IMPRESSION
God has created the male and female with different emotional capabilities. Guys are logical beings, while ladies are emotional beings, a man will be logical first before he allows emotion, while a woman will be emotional first before allowing logic. Therefore bearing this in mind, guys should be wise and honest in the manner which they handle friendship and relationship with ladies. When a guy acts in some particular way without clarity, transparency or frankness, a lady might get a wrong impression as to the real intention of such a guy towards her.
Don't have the impression that you are interested by your gesture and attitude only to use your mouth to say otherwise because your action speaks.
LET YOUR IMPRESSION BE A TRUE PICTURE OF YOUR INTENTION WITHOUT CONFLICT.
LET EVERY RELATIONSHIP BE DEFINED TO OVERCOME DISTORTION.
A relationship not well-defined is like two people winking to each other in the dark, only to come into the light with the expectation that they got other's message. God has made provision for friendship between guys and ladies on the foundation of PURITY. However, failure to properly define any relationship whereby you can operate in unity of spirit, may give room to assumptions and distortion which unfortunately have marred friendship between the opposite sex in the Church today.
An undefined relationship is a dangerous relationship that has numerous disadvantages. It is unwise to remain in a relationship that has no definition. Assumption is the lowest level of knowledge; so avoid assumption and get a clear definition.
Working without a job description can be very frustrating and so also is an undefined relationship. DEFINE IT SO AS NOT TO BE CONFINED!
IT IS THE MAN'S RESPONSIBLILITY TO PROPOSE SO A LADY SHOULD NOT ASSUME SUCH RESPONSIBILITY.
God is the author of relationships and His Word is the final authority on the principles and rules for successful relationship. Proverbs 18:22 says, " HE THAT FINDS A WIFE...." Revealing that it is the man's responsibility to find and to propose.
Any man who is not bold enough to propose to you is not man enough to 'husband' you. Likewise, any lady who propose to a man has violated divine order and only cheapens herself. Ladies should place value on themselves and not allow anxiety to lead them into error. Guys should also be bold enough to declare their convictions. God's word has set precedent. And we see that all through the Bible the man goes for the woman and not vice versa. Any Civilization outside God's word is an error. In the western world, some people believe that there is nothing wrong in a lady proposing but that is contrary to God's revealed order.
A LADY SHOULD NOT YIELD TO PROPOSAL OUT OF FEAR OR SYMPATHY
Anyone you yield to out of fear, you will live with such a person in fear. To yield to a marriage proposal due to fear is to enrol for a life of perpetual misery and torment. Fear is NOT of God and where perfect love is fear flees, for the presence of fear means the absence of love.
Marriage is not a ministry, an orphanage, or a therapy centre. Hence, you need to overcome the emotional temptation of yielding to someone's proposal out of sympathy.
You should only yield to a marriage proposal because you KNOW it is God's will and not because of any other reason. Fear is a negative emotion and should not be allowed, you should never allow yourself to be intimidated or manipulated into a relationship contrary to God's will and your desire.
A GUY SHOULD NOT BE HELD TO RANSOME BY THE COMMON PHRASE "I'M STILL PRAYING"
When a guy proposes to a lady and she has neither a foreknowledge nor conviction to accept the proposal, it is her responsibility to go to God in prayer for confirmation. If the lady's stand and communion with God is alright, that prayer needn't take too long to be answered.
However, many ladies have used the phrase " I'm still praying to hold their suitors to ransome, when the real truth is that they are still double-minded and afraid to make commitment due to carnal insecurity. When some ladies tell you they are still prating or they are still waiting to see if your status/class will change; because they don't like what they see yet neither are they willing to make sacrifices to help change it.
A brother waited for three years to get an answer to his proposal from a lady who claimed to still be praying only to be disappointed. That is not wisdom on his part because any lady that needs three years to hear from her father definitely has a problem in her relationship with God and is not ready for marriage.
Let you yea be yea and your nay be nay because some ladies have missed their miracle through the use of this formula.
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Happy reading!!!!
Hafiz lecky
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