Face it. At least for a while, it's a buyer's market when it comes to hiring and firing. Here are some sure-fire ways to stand out from the crowd when management decides who will stay and who will go:
- Use the office phones and Internet access for lots of personal use; after all, you have a life too. And when you talk with your friends, use the speakerphone so you'll have your hands free to shop online.
- Take public credit for your co-workers ideas. And regularly question your boss's ideas -- publicly.
- Complain loudly and often to co-workers about the company instead of suggesting improvements. It's very therapeutic.
- Tell customers what you really think about the company. And don't forget online chat rooms for spreading the word.
- Summer is meant to be enjoyed, so come in late and leave early, especially on Fridays and Mondays.
- Leave copies of your resume on the printer and post your resume online. Your boss probably never looks anyway.
- Take home massive amounts of office supplies. You bring home work sometimes; and anyway, that's why the company buys so much.
- Inflate your experience and your salary on your resume (the company may use a security firm to verify information).
- Enjoy your weekend. And then spend most of Monday going from office to office telling your co-workers about it.
- Refuse to buy Girl Scout cookies from your boss's daughter. After all, today's the first day of your diet.