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Word Count: 1098
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Be a Better Mom!
by Colleen Langenfeld
Copyright (c) 2003
Do you feel frazzled? Are you struggling with
thoughts of being overwhelmed? Does simply keeping
up seem to be all you ever accomplish?
Take heart! Often when we feel this way, help is
just a matter of tweaking what we already know. Use
the following list to fine-tune your ability to
improve the quality of your efforts as a mom, spouse
and careerwoman.
-*- Time out for yourself. All of you.
This includes quiet time for prayer or meditation,
pampering and exercise time to give your body the
care it needs, and the opportunity to indulge a hobby
or two you enjoy. Taking time for yourself means
filling up your physical, mental, emotional and
spiritual fuel tanks, understanding that if you want
to do and be a lot, you must nurture and re-fill a
lot.
-*- Get organized.
If you have heard this one more times than you can
count, but don't even know where to start, listen up.
Try doing your homework before jumping in on every
organizing idea that comes down the pike. First,
ask yourself what you REALLY need. Is it personal
support? Structured checklists? Help figuring out what
your priorities are? Remember to look at both personal
and professional scenes here. Once you get clear on
your true organizing needs, you'll be in a much better
position to find the information and assistance that
you can use to genuinely improve your situation.
Still feeling too overwhelmed to tackle this one?
Pick out the one chaotic part of your life that bugs
you the most and resolve to make it better. Don't worry
about anything else until you have made progress in
that one area. If it helps, go at it with a friend.
Change is tough; remember to give yourself regular,
tangible pats on the back.
-*- Manage your money.
If you are carrying too much debt for your personal
mental health, it's time to do something about it.
We are all different, and one person's cash flow
management is another's sleepless nights. If you
find you are worrying about money on a regular - even
daily - basis, take steps to make it better. No matter
how hard it may be to clean up your finances;
relentless, nonproductive stress is worse. Give
yourself the opportunity to feel better!
-*- Get help when you need it.
Parenting is hard work! Sometimes it's confusing, too.
Not only do babies not come with manuals, but being a
mom requires you blaze a new trail in uncharted
territory. In addition, you may not know the results
of your efforts for long periods of time, even years.
The bottom line? Trust yourself, and when you wish you
had some more information, guidance, or perspective,
get it. Find a parent you admire whose children are
farther down the road of life and offer to buy them
lunch and chat. Schedule an appointment with your
clergy. Call your local social services office and ask
what parenting resources are available in your area.
Remember that people asking for help rarely run into
big trouble. It's the people who refuse to ask for help
that sometimes run off cliffs.
-*- Your career.
Is it what you really want? Are you happy and
satisfied with your professional work? If not, simply
taking control of your life's work will make you feel
much better and those around you are sure to benefit,
too. Get additional training, look into better
opportunities, discover your business options.
Developing a plan of self-discovery could lead you
into a whole new life.
-*- Your relationships.
In your lifetime you will have many relationships.
Among them you can count friends, probably a spouse,
maybe children and there is always that pesky
extended family. Not to mention coworkers and
professional attachments. As a busy mom, you spend
way too much time with these people to harbor
resentments or pretend no one ever gets under your
skin.
Two rules of thumb when it comes to relationships are:
1. If possible, heal any old rifts.
2. Don't sweat the small stuff.
People are notorious for being unkind, selfish,
forgetful, nosy...in other words, human. It is wise
to develop a bit of a tough exterior for dealing with
the day in and day out bumps and jolts of human
relationships. On the other hand, if you've been
genuinely wounded, or if you know you've hurt another
person in your life, do yourself and the people around
you a huge favor and seek to heal these painful
experiences. It's not possible to go back and rewrite
the past, but it is possible to write a brand new future.
-*- Think about what you want for your children
long-term.
What is your main parenting goal? Most of all, do you
wish health and happiness for your little ones? A
productive life? Knowledge of God and their
fellow-man? Social service? Clarifying what you
believe and what you choose to help your children
grasp onto will help you tremendously in the
day-to-day decisions you must make as a parent. Knowing
where you are guiding your kids will bring meaning into
your routine and a sense of vital stability to your
family.
-*- Enjoy them!
Relax! Guide your small children into being people who
are enjoyable to be around. Laugh with them. Listen to
them. Encourage them. BE THERE for them. Everyone
deserves to be number one in someone's life. The old
adage that children spell 'time', Y-O-U is very true.
In fact, it's really one of the few things they are
looking for from you.
Most importantly, see yourself in the equation of your
life as the powerful, profound central figure that you
truly are. The good news? You have daily choices that
only you control, often simple choices that you can use
to shape your family life into more of the blessing you
long it to be.
So you want to be a better mom? Don't fall into the trap
of working harder. Concentrate on the basics and watch
your family bloom!
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Colleen Langenfeld delivers deals, tips and
creative resources to working moms who want
the most out of their homes, families and
careers at http://www.paintedgold.com . Sign
up for our f*ree newsletter and get an
online Creativity Toolkit as our gift to you!