Speaking your Truth

How often do you bite your tongue because you're afraid of being judged or you fear being misunderstood? Can you remember the last time you told someone exactly how you felt and why you felt it? Do you feel that in conversation you skirt around the real issues and never verbalise what's really bothering you?

These are important questions. In my work as a Tarot reader I often find I'm counselling clients who feel trapped in unhealthy situations because they don't feel able or "allowed" to express themselves honestly. Sometimes they are so concerned with hurting the other person's feelings that they then repress their own, with disastrous consequences in the long run. This occurs most obviously and frequently in relationships, where one partner is desperately unhappy but is unable to voice it because they feel responsible in some way for the other person, or they're too scared of the consequences to be honest with themselves and their partner about what's really going on.

More and more I realise that the people who can love the most fully and deeply are those who can say truly "I love myself". This means you have to walk your own path and first be true to yourself, even though it may appear to cause suffering or hardship to others. When you do speak the truth, when your first duty is to yourself and to honour your own feelings, you release a tremendous amount of creative energy that can then transform the stickiest situation or relationship. If you remain quiet and don't speak, if you push your feelings down and away from you, that energy remains stagnant and, even worse, festers and grows poisonous over time. I see a lot of clients suffering from recurring disorders of the throat and chest which often indicates that they block their own freedom of speech and have problems expressing themselves honestly. I recommend carrying or wearing a blue crystal to shift the block and encourage the ability to verbalise thoughts and feelings - sodalite, lapis lazuli and turquoise are particularly effective.

We all have lessons to learn in this life, and although it is easy to care for someone else's situation, especially if it is affected by you and your decisions, what you must also remember is that by speaking your truth you're actually giving the other person the opportunity to grow and to learn their lessons too. When you stop and think about how much easier and clearer relationships would be if we were all totally honest with each other, it makes you gasp! Of course, you must make sure that you express your truth in love, but if you remain connected to love then nothing you say will be harmful or heartless - just true.

Give yourself an ongoing inner spring clean by trusting your own perceptions, saying what's been on your mind, telling that person how you really feel, and most of all honouring yourself. "The truth which you speak has neither past nor future. It is, and that is all it needs to be." (Richard Bach).