Denver In-Home Care: My Parent Doesn’t Want Any Help, What Should I Do?

Denver In-Home Care: My Parent Doesn't Want Any Help, What Should I Do?

When given the option most of today's seniors would prefer to remain in their homes. We obviously want to do what's best for Mom and Dad and assist them with their wishes. The balance is providing them their independence with our peace of mind for their safety and security.

Often adult children of elderly parents notice changes in their loved ones: a bruise or wound from a fall, not bathing regularly, house unusually in disarray, weight loss, forgetting directions from one place to another may be some of those changes. The typical answer when confronting our parents is "Oh everything is fine, I don't need any help, don't worry about me!"

Losing one's choice and independence is a struggle. Adult children trying to tell their parents how or what to do is not the most comfortable position to be in. So what can I do?

There is no one solution to fix all circumstances, but hopefully some of these tips can help with the process:

In dealing with elderly couples, it is sometimes helpful to approach the more independent (the one less in need of care) of the two and suggest providing in-home care for his or her spouse. In most instances both are in need of care, but having a parent as an advocate will allow for a smoother transition.

With a single parent the focus should be on "you", the caregiver needing the help. As a parent the needs of our children are dear to our heart, knowing the in-home care will help you, will be more acceptable to your Mom or Dad. Emphasize with this help you can attend to your other responsibilities and the time you do spend together will be focused on a quality life style.

Sometimes taking a small step forward is a less threatening approach. Housekeeping chores, assistance with transportation and preparing quality meals can be viewed as more inviting for your loved one. Once the caregiver establishes a relationship with your parent, the trust factor will take hold and other in-home care personal services will be accepted with open arms.

Another approach is to bring in a trusted professional of your parent. A long time family physician, nurse, case manager, social worker or other related professional field can be more receptive to your Mom or Dad. Their opinions can be viewed as being more objective.

When having these conversations you should choose the appropriate time and place. Do not attempt this during family gatherings and holidays, rather find a more comfortable and quiet time in their or your home.

This is often a conflicting role as the child and caregiver. Do not take your Mom or Dad's refusal to outside in-home care personally or offensively, but focus on the outcome of keeping your loved one's safe and secure in the place they wish to live their senior years.

For more information and a FREE REPORT "Discover the Secrets That Allow Seniors To Stay At Home For Life", please go to www.homecareassistancedenver.com.

Marilyn Rowe
CEO & Owner, Home Care Assistance of Denver


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