All divorced parents who are still walking on this earth find that going through a divorce stirs up emotions inside of them that prevents them from keeping their cool. Life gets filled with stress; you become exhausted, or irritated. It's really a challenge to be patient and tolerant with your kids when you're emotionally stirred up. You find yourself going from really calm to really furious. When you feel guilty about the divorce, you overindulge your kids and the next minute, you the nice mommy/daddy is gone and you're flying off the handle. This might be normal, but it isn't practical.

Stress can cause us to act in ways that don't make us proud. The first thing that you need to remember is that losing your temper with your children just makes the situation worse. Your children feel the pressure as well, and I'll just bet they misbehave more now than normally. Take that deep breath, take a step backwards, look objectively at whatever caused you to lose your temper; you might decide it's no biggie.

The trick is to take some time everyday to take a breath. Frankly, just take a few deep breaths. It may seem like very generic advice, but it actually works. If you find yourself starting to lose it, walk away and breathe. Evaluate what is actually so terrible at the present moment. More than likely, nothing can be as bad as all that.

When you lose your cool, you end up feeling guilty, and that just ends up in a downward spiral on the road to other bad decisions regarding your children. You can really make a difference in your own life if you try to make it a daily goal to not yell. You will be able to think more clearly about what is going on and make better decisions. Discipline will also be more effective if you don't lose your cool.

When you are a divorced parent going through difficult times and it is hard to keep a clear head, many people make things worse by losing their temper. Don't be one of those people. This does neither you nor your kids any good. Think clearly and emotion free. Be objective not subjective.

What advice would you yourself give a friend that was going through the same situation that you are going through? You already have the answers; it's just hard to find them alone when your feelings are all stirred up. If you can dig deeply to discover more confidence, you'll be better prepared to embrace calmly whatever comes your way.


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Len Stauffenger's parents taught him life's simple wisdom. As a divorced dad, he wanted to share that simple wisdom with his girls. "Getting Over It: Wisdom for Divorced Parents," his book, is the solution. Len is an author, a Success Coach and an Attorney. http://www.wisdomfordivorcedparents.com