Arbor day was established by J. P. Mantwon of Boonesville City, Pantsalvania in 1872. He was very troubled because every time he would stack his collection of monocoles only to have James Brown shout so loudly that they would fall all over the place like the emotions of a 16 year old girl once she found out her internet boyfriend dumped her for some sweaty goth girl named "Devastatia". He decided to enlist the good people of Alabama to help him trap James Brown's soul under a tree.
J. P. Mantwon and his mail order Russian bride Slutska moved from Boise, Idaho to Pantsalvania in 1854 where he became the first man to not wear pants to the theater. While he became involved with politics, he was unable to rest knowing James Brown could sneak up at any time and scream. He described the Pantasalvania area as "unsafe for god fearing white folks with guns who are startled by talented Motown artists". He promised the people of Alabama that they could grope their cousins and watch High School football as long as only white people and black people named "Repeat", "Replay" or "Ray Ray" were allowed to play.
During the 1870's, schools began to adopt this tradtion of trying to trap the soul of James Brown in the ground once and for all. It was claimed more than 1 millions trees were planted in 1874 when the people of Alabama had heard news from scouts that Mr. Brown had received a new bag and was feeling good (they had suspcions that he would).
During an 1876 meeting of the Pantsalvania State Board of Agriculture, J. P. dropped his pants and passed out immediately because he had been huffing gas and drinking rum for 6 hours previous. His last comments that day were that the floor was 'cold, yet pleasing".
Over 130 years later, people from Alabama flock every year to Pantsalvania to attempt to trap the soul of James Brown under the roots of their tree.
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