I remember my first marriage. We had been a couple for seventeen years. Unfortunately, our relationship lacked in the romance department. Despite many attempts and pleas on my part, I could pretty much count the number of dates we had on my two hands. Suffice it to say, loneliness and resentment inevitably consumed the relationship and our marriage ended.
I often hear similar stories from clients, colleagues, and friends, saddened that their relationship has little or no zest. However, before we go and point the finger at our partner, we need to first ask ourselves if we've really made a conscious effort to do our part. Have we voiced our concerns to our partner? Have we been clear and specific about what we want? Did we approach our partner lovingly without blame? Or are we basing our disappointment and frustration on assumptions we've made—that our mate should know better since, of course, we already do … or do we?
Here's another question that stops some people dead in their tracks. When was the last time you asked your partner out on a date? This goes for the ladies too. Dating, you ask? Isn't that something you do before you move in together? As my teenaged daughter would say, "Not!" And if your partner declined your warm invitation, did you happen to ask your partner out again? Many lament, "But I've already tried." I invite you to heed the words of wisdom from Yoda, the green pint-sized creature in Star Wars: "There is no try, there is only do," and do and do.
Dating is not about putting your partner first, but your relationship. It is an excellent means and opportunity for the two of you to discover each other anew, rekindle the flame, and grow closer together. Someone's got to get the ball rolling, so why not you? And hey, did you know that May is "Date Your Mate Month"? What a perfect lead in to ask your honey out on a date!
Take action now and kick-start your love life! You and your partner deserve it! Always remember, the reason you're together as a couple is because you dated.