Are you looking for some inside information on divorce?
Here's an up-to-date report from clients I have interviewed
who have had first hand experience and should know.
If you don't have accurate details regarding divorce, then
you might make a bad choice on the subject. Don't let that
happen: keep reading.
Any child going through a divorce is going to experience
some emotional pain, feelings of loss, sadness, frustration
and possibly abandonment or rejection. As parents it is
important to help children through this difficult time in
their lives and to protect them as much as possible from
the divorce process itself, as well as the changes that
will occur, both now and in the future.
As a parent there are several things that you can do to
help your children get through the divorce with as little
difficulty as possible. Both parents working together on
this goal can make it even easier for the children.
Love
Children at this time need even more love from parents than
they did prior to the divorce. This means telling your
children every chance to get that you love them, think of
them often, and will always be there for them. Try spending
some extra one-on-one time with your kids and encourage them
to talk about their concerns or fears.
Support and security
Just like love, kids need to feel that they are supported,
secure and safe during the divorce. Often children feel
very insecure about their relationship with one or both of
the parents, and may feel that the parent that moves out of
the house has rejected them.
Talk to the children about the
divorce, and explain that both parents will still be very
involved in their lives. Show children your support and
commitment to them by being there, and following through on
any plans or events.
Children may also feel that the
custodial parent may not have the financial means to
support them, especially if money is an issue in the
divorce or in the disagreements leading up to the divorce.
Assure your children that you have this under control.
Children should not feel concern over financial affairs;
they need to know that Mom and Dad have this handled.
Avoid conflict
Children need to see that Mom and Dad still can work
together to be good parents. Kids should never be exposed
to fighting, negative comments about the other parent, or
conflict between parents. If you have a high-conflict
situation try exchanging the children at a neutral spot
like a restaurant, or perhaps leave the children with a
frien*d and have the other parent pick them up there so you
don't have to meet face to face. It is critical that
children not be exposed to the stress and anxiety of
parental conflict.
Extended family
Talk to your extended families to make sure that they are
following the same expectations for providing love,
support, and only positive comments. Encourage your
children to talk to other family members about the divorce
if they feel comfortable with this.
Set a routine and schedule
As soon as possible set a schedule for children to spend
time with both parents. Try to stick to the schedule as
much as possible as this allows the children to plan for
times with both parents, and to feel a part of both
parents' lives.
Be consistent
Try to set similar expectations for chores, discipline and
daily routines in both Mom's house and Dad's house. This
is particularly important if you have younger children, as
they will adjust to spending time in both homes much
quicker if they are consistent.
Now that wasn't hard at all, was it? And you've earned a
wealth of knowledge, just from taking some time to study an
expert's word on divorce.
(c)copyright 2006 Niche Profit Marketing
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