Copyright © 2005 Stephanie Marston, MFT
http://www.stephaniemarston.com
The majority of us are exhausted from climbing the corporate
ladder, dressing for success and trying to balance our work and
family lives. We live as if we are careening down a freeway at
warp speed. The French philosopher Rene Descartes said, "I think
therefore I am." Our modern day version of this has become "I do
therefore I am." So many of us live by the mantra "I have to
keep up," "I am what I do," "I have to push myself," "I have to
prove my worth," "I have to keep going." As long as you continue
to subscribe to the philosophy that you are what you do you'll
be driven to prove yourself, please other people and live up to
someone else's standards. In other words, your life won't be
your own.
Stop and consider for a moment what would happen if you took the
next available exit on the freeway of your life, pulled onto a
quiet country lane, slowed down and reflected on your life. What
would happen if you asked yourself, "Are you doing too much?"
"Are you driven by societal and peer pressures?" "Are you living
the life you want to live?" As you ponder these questions you
may discover that you want to make some changes. You may find
that you need to reassess your priorities based on what you've
determined is most meaningful in your life. You may decide that
you need more balance, more time for yourself. You may realize
that you have to take greater charge of where you invest your
time and energy.
One of the cornerstones of living a high quality life is to know
what you value—what's most meaningful in your life. Yet when our
life is all about completing the millions of tasks on our "to do"
list we often lose our perspective. We lose our ability to
discern between what's important and what's not because
everything feels equally urgent –equally critical.
No matter how frantic life gets, no matter how much frenzy seems
to be present, the most successful people are able to rise above
the pandemonium and maintain their perspective. They can do
this because they know what's important. Their values are their
compass--they keep them on course regardless of the chaos and
confusion of life. These people maintain a vision of what truly
matters, what their life is about and what they want it to be.
By clarifying your values you can adjust your life so that you
invest your time and energy in those things you hold sacred. Yet
in order to do this you have to ask yourself what do I value?
What's most important to me? These kinds of questions will not
only help you to understand yourself on a deeper level, but
ultimately to refocus your life around what's truly meaningful.
As strange as this may seem, it's actually less important to
understand the meaning of life itself than it is to understand
the meaning of your life.
Think about your core values and principles. Ask yourself the
question, what matters? List the qualities and attributes that
you consider essential to living your best life. These are the
values you use to define yourself.
As you read over your list, how do you feel? What did you learn
about yourself? Where you surprised by anything? Now ask
yourself, how are these values reflected in your current life?
Which values are you neglecting? In what ways would your life be
different if you honored these values?
Evaluating your values is the foundation for leading a life you
love. The next time you're faced with a decision ask yourself,
"Is this decision consistent with my deepest self, with what is
most meaningful in my life? Use this question as your compass to
keep you true to your core beliefs.
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Stephanie is an acclaimed speaker and author. She speaks from
experience. Stephanie is the "go to" expert for those who seek
to create quality driven lives. She is the author of Chicken
Soup for the Soul's Life Lessons for Women: 7 Essential
Ingredients for a Balanced Life, If Not Now, When? Reclaiming
Ourselves at Midlife and Life Coaching for Parents: Six Weeks
to Sanity. For more information please visit her website:
http://www.stephaniemarston.com