matchmaker to find a new mate. They wouldn't expect to get a
list of their five ideal mates, chosen from a few thousand
possibilities. They realize they need time to mourn the loss
of the last soulmate and invest time in self-discovery
before seeking a new love.
Yet these sophisticates who scoff at match-making often
ask for a test that "tells me what I should be doing for the
rest of my life."
If you're an adult with significant work experience, these
tests typically show you are very well suited to your own
occupation. That's like saying your soulmate will strongly
resemble the partner you just left.
And, the second time around, you probably don't seek a mate
based on "cute looks, great dancer, gets the juices
flowing." A divorced friend says she evaluates potential
mates on "likelihood of taking out garbage" and "ability to
share space with my cat."
When successful people contemplate career change, they
soon realize they don't care about whether a career will
"use my math skills" or "let me work with fashion." They
talk about autonomy, travel, and life purpose -- and they
realize they have to co-create these qualities in their
chosen careers.
Most people reach career goals the way they meet their
soulmates: they're open to meeting people, they're having
fun, and they're not desperate. Rarely, outside fiction,
does someone say, "I need to get married in three months,"
and achieve a long-lasting, happy marriage.
People who have learned not to be afraid of solitude can
wait for marriage, and people who can handle the
displacement of "between-jobs" will find a new
soul-satisfying career. Second marriages often are built on
a more solid platform than first marriages, and second
careers can create lives that are far more meaningful than
their predecessors.
Yes, it takes time, but those who have been there say it's
worth the wait.
---------------------------------
Cathy Goodwin, Ph.D., is an author, speaker and career
coach, specializing in midcareer professionals and
business owners.
Weekly fr*e ezine: "Your Next Move" filled with tips to raise
your DQ: Decision Quotient.
http://www.cathygoodwin.com/subscribe.html .
Website: http://www.cathygoodwin.com.
Phone: 505-534-4194 Email: cathy@...