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You've spotted someone interesting when browsing through online profiles on your chosen dating site…now what? Maybe there's an email in your inbox just waiting for a reply but what do you say? Take a look at the following hints and tips and see if they inspire you to email today!
Use your subject line wisely
Saying 'Hi' in your subject line is not necessarily going to grab someone's attention in a full in-box. Try picking something from their profile and using it to respond with. If they mention they like a particular film then you could make reference to one of the sub-plots, or you could talk about one of their hobbies, especially if it's something you have an interest in.
Consider your greeting and goodbye
Just saying 'Hi' is casual and friendly and certainly not a bad way to start your email however you might like to consider something a little more adventurous if the profile you are responding to encourages it.
Witty or flattering hellos that are relevant to the picture and/or profile work nicely. No one is going to be offended by you saying 'Hello Tom Cruise look-alike' and it may just make them smile… a sure fire winner! If they mention their love of 'The Tempest' for example you could start your email with "Are you the beautiful Miranda?' Try not to be too cheesy though!
When saying goodbye you could continue with the theme e.g. "I'll look forward to our next tempest(uous) discussion". It's probably best to avoid relating yourself to a famous person unless you have referred to them already in the text of your message as this can just look arrogant and off-putting.
It's not wrong to research topics prospective dates mention in their profile
If you know something about a topic they express interest in, or even spend ten minutes researching it on the net then that shows an interest which most people would be flattered by.
Don't pretend to be an expert on a topic you know nothing about or express views you don't agree with just to attract someone though as this will always catch you out in the end!
Tell them a little about you but focus on them and ask questions
A monologue of you, your life, your interests etc. can be a bit off-putting for anyone. It's important to share some of yourself in the email but try and put it into context of your prospective dates' profile. Tell them what attracted you to them and how it relates to you and then ask them more about it. Request their opinion on something that you are interested in or something that is loosely connected to their profile. If you ask an open question in an email most people will at least respond with the answer.
Compliment them
Everybody loves getting compliments but make sure that they are sincere and specific and not clichéd. E.g. If their profile made you laugh then tell them so, or explain what drew you to them as they'll be flattered by your attention.
Be positive and confident but keep it fun and light
Focus on things you like and want rather then things you don't. People are attracted to positive, confident people who have opinions and things to say. Assume the person you are writing to will like you, will want to engage in a conversation with you and just be your natural self.
Keep it short
It's flattering that someone has spent hours writing you an email but remember email can be intrusive. Keep your mail to a maximum of about 200 words just in case they are busy when they get it. If the conversation really flows you can always ask them if it's the best way to communicate.
Err on the side of formality
Remember this is written language not the spoken word and the way people interpret the written word can vary from the way they hear things. When you are face to face with someone you have all sorts of other indicators such as someone's face and body language. Be careful to express yourself clearly and don't leave it all open to interpretation.
Don't give away too much personal information too early
It's good to get to know someone on email but don't give them too many personal details until you know them better. It can be easy to give away information without thinking and you should treat them as you would any stranger until you know them better.
Always contact them through the dating site rather than personal email
This will protect you initially until you get to know someone as you remain anonymous. Once you start to use your personal email address then you are outside of the protection of the dating site and they won't be able to help you if you have any problems.
Limit your use of emoticons and exclamation marks
It can be difficult to express yourself in emails but some people simply hate smileys etc. so err on the side of caution. The odd one or two is fine but on every sentence they can become very irritating and people may wonder if you are able to express yourself.
If you are not interested in someone who emails you
Opinion is divided on this one It's certainly kindest to respond and say thanks but no thanks rather than leave them hanging on. It's up to you though some people like internet dating precisely because they are anonymous and can't be traced! On the flip side if someone emails you to say no thanks then just accept it and move on. Demanding a reason why can be intimidating, embarrassing and unfair on the person who was considerate enough to not leave you hanging on in the first place.
And finally…remember the first thing they'll probably do is look at your profile
If you receive an email from someone on a dating site then it's the first thing you do isn't it…check them out? If you are responding to someone then they may refer back to your profile when they get your response. So do make sure your profile is up to date and interesting to maximise your chances of getting the right result.
If you enjoyed this article and would like to read more like it or would like help with your online dating profile why not take a look at www.MaxMyProfile.co.uk?