Unemployment (along with death and divorce) rates high on the list as one of life's top stress-inducing events. Acknowledge, out loud, that it is hard to look for a new position - everybody could use a cheering section.
Think about the type of support you would like if the roles were reversed. Remember that your spouse is more emotionally fragile than in most situations - for many people their job IS their identity and the job has just gone away. Let him know that his worth to you - and to your relationship - is much more than his job.
TYPES OF SUPPORT THAT ARE OFTEN WELCOME:
Support but don't push. Participate in the process as much as your partner is comfortable having you be part of it. But don't make it into your project. Remember that it's her job search, not yours, and she is in charge.
Offer to review the resume. You may be more tuned-in to his strengths and special skills than he is. Many people who are good at what they do assume that "it's just part of the job" or "everyone can do that" - and they're usually wrong, not everyone can. In any way you can, keep focusing attention on his strengths and the really valuable things he brings to the table.
Be willing to be a sounding board as she tries out elevator speeches or networking techniques. Remember, the more in control of the situation she sounds, the more productive the meeting of any sort will be.
No one can conduct a job search in secret - encourage your spouse to let people know in an appropriate manner. One key is to help him talk about what has happened in a positive and forward-looking way so that he sounds as if he is in charge of his career and, far from being a victim, is looking forward to new opportunities.
Help your spouse network - especially, open your network to her. This is crucial to the success of a job search since 75-80% of the jobs that are filled every year are filled as the result of someone knowing someone who knows someone.
Encourage her to identify all of the networks she has such as religious organizations, alumni groups, family, friends, neighbors, and professional groups as well as current and former colleagues, employers and vendors. One network many people forget about is that of those people we give money to who stay in business by referrals. This includes real estate agents, insurance brokers, financial planners, accountants, etc.
Try to avoid commenting on his activity level - you're probably only seeing the tip of the iceberg. Understand that it takes time and patience to find a job - and the higher up the food chain, the longer it takes. Job searches usually last at least 3 - 6 months and longer isn't unusual.
ON A MORE PERSONAL LEVEL
Sit down and have a practical discussion about money. Figure out how long you and your family can last without feeling a pinch. How can you economize? What expenses can you cut temporarily (and it is temporary)? How long can you last economizing? How much of your savings are you willing to use? What is the real, absolute, drop-dead-gotta-have-a-Job-by-then time frame?
The more realistic you can be about finances, the less likely your spouse is to panic prematurely. Someone who is desperate to find a job NOW is the least likely person to be hired. When someone comes to me with that attitude, I know I'm going to be working with her for a long time.
Understand your own feelings. Your spouse being out of work affects your life too and you have no control of the process. If you haven't had to look for a job recently, you may also be unaware of what is involved in the job search process in today's business world.
And, if you are a stay-at-home spouse, having the other person around close to 24/7 may disrupt your routine. If you work from home, you may even have to share your computer. The old joke of "I married you for better or for worse, but not for lunch" will take on new meaning.
Be sensitive to the kids' needs - it's unlikely that you will be able to hide the whole situation from them and they will certainly pick up on the tension. Tell them just enough so they don't go imagining catastrophic things in the family, that,of course, they assume is their fault.
With your permission, I’d like to offer you a free report: The Bare Essentials Guide to the BEST Next Job. You can download it by going to
http://www.acatalystinyoursuccess.com/Bare_Essentials_Guide.html
If you would like to hear more about the whole job search process and the tools you need to conduct a successful job search visit http://www.acatalystinyoursuccess.com/Career_Home_Page.html
From Jane Trevaskis and Success-Catalyst.com.