Anyway, on a more serious note, love is the very thing that fuels our lives. Women and men alike love the idea of being “in love.” The euphoria of a new relationship…ah…there’s nothing like it. Then there’s the flip side. The breaking up and the relationships we stay in that are like poison to our souls. Why do we do it? We think…we can change them…if only they would just open their eyes and see the truth…
How could something that started out so good turn into something so bad? Yet we refuse to let go, thinking if only the other person would change or the situation surrounding the relationship would change then we’d be happy again…not necessarily so.
Happiness and a healthy relationship with anyone starts with us. We are the ones that we need to look at for our hapiness, not the ones we are involved with. Love is committment and work, not just a feeling we experience. Each one of us has to open our eyes and get past that misconceived notion of thinking that everything will be “perfect” if we just find the right person. And, of course, we all know that’s not true. It won’t be perfect. In fact, studies show that if we leave a relationship that has soured to the point of decimation and find a new person, the “baggage” we carry inside of us from that last person will eventually destroy that new relationship too if we’re not careful to clear out “our closet” first.
It starts with us. We need to recognize that it is of the upmost importance to take enough time after a failed relationship to ”search out and destroy” the misconceptions, wrong beliefs, habits, ect. that taint or sour anything new we get ourselves involved in. If we can do that, then automatically we are improving ourselves, raising our self-esteem and giving ourselves a whole other level of people to choose from. Automatically it improves the way we carry ourselves, thus improving the type of people we attract, making any new situation different than it would’ve been if we’d remained the same as before.
So, if something bad happens in your relationship and it ends, don’t run right back out there and jump right back into the dating pool. Give yourself a little time to heal (no matter what side of the dumping you were on) and do a little “inventory check” on yourself. See what role you played in the demise of that relationship and where you could improve for any future situations you might get yourself in.
Just like Jocelyn in my second book, Love’s Last Betrayal, who fell head over heels for the rich and powerful restaurant owner, Alex Giavonni. After Jocelyn gave her mind, body & soul to him, someone younger, more exciting came along and both he and Jocelyn took a ride neither one expected nor wanted to go on; Never to be the same again. This book takes you through a journey of decption and betrayal like no other when you see how far one person can go for the sake of “love.”
Read the first chapter of Love’s Last Betrayal on my website www.kfjbooks.com and tell me what you think. I can’t wait to hear what you think of the drama that befalls this beautiful couple. And, of course, as you look at them, remember don’t be afraid to work on you before love ”works” on you instead:>