You're in good company.
One of the greatest challenges working moms face is tackling the never-ending "to-do" list. Unfortunately most moms don't have the tools or discipline to effectively manage everything. You're stuck in a situation where you think going faster will get more done. Ultimately you're exhausted and frustrated because things aren't getting done on time or with the quality you expect – you're no longer productive.
There is hope for busy working moms. Here are five simple, yet very powerful, tips for being at the top of effectiveness with the time you have.
Tip #1: Practice Emotional Positivity. I know. I know. You're sick of the whole "think positive" revolution. You tried it, felt better for about a week, met some challenges, and decided thinking positive was too Pollyanna for you. After all you're realistic and pretending that life is great when you feel like a wreck is just not real! Yea…I've been there too. And here's the bottom line – you will remain unproductive, overwhelmed and frustrated for as long as you linger on negative thoughts and emotions. Your attitude is reflected in your behavior.
Try this: The next time a negative thought puts your productivity at risk say something positive like, "Awesome!" (my four-year-old's new word of the month). For example, I was walking (rushing really) out the door with my kids and Peyton peed in her pants…just like that. Oh how annoying! Pause, and then think inside, "Awesome! Because now I can give her some much needed attention." In response, my behavior is calm and warm, rather than anger-based. Peyton responds positively too saying, "I'm sorry Mommy" and then cleans herself up without further hassle. Consider how the situation might have turned out had I responded in anger – she'd cry and be resistant.
Tip #2: Plan Weekly and Prioritize Daily. Weekly planning and daily prioritization is a process I first learned from Stephen Covey's book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. The idea is that you put all your "big rocks" (or priorities) into your calendar when you have the most available space – at the beginning of a new week. For example, big projects at work, a date with your hubby, a recital for your daughter, your exercise plan, etc. Then each day, you'll prioritize what's on your plate for the day – calls to return, meetings, errands, etc.
Here's how I put this idea into action:
Once a week action: Every Friday I have an appointment with myself from 4-4:30 p.m. This is my weekly planning time where I reflect on the week that's ending and plan for the coming week by entering my "big rocks" into my calendar. I ask myself one question during this process, what's the most important thing I want to accomplish this week?
Daily action: During the last 15 minutes of each day I review what I accomplished and then prioritize my tasks for the next day. Doing this makes me feel good about everything I did, sets my brain with what I have on deck for tomorrow and ensures that I start the next day focused.
Tip #3: Give Yourself Some Time. Here's another tip I'm sure you've heard hundreds of times and discarded like junk mail, "take care of you first." It's so easy to overlook this simple advice. The demands from your children, work, family, etc. press upon you and leave little opportunity for you nurture your own needs. I've learned that ignoring my needs most certainly leads to a melt-down moment so I've discovered small ways to make sure I get my time in no matter how hectic life feels.
Here's how to get started: First, practice Tip #2 and carve out at least 30 minutes a day for yourself. If that seems like a lot then break the time out into 10- or 15-minute breaks. Put it in your calendar! Next, decide what you want to do to during you "me time." I journal, meditate, read for inspiration or learning, call a girlfriend, do yoga, take a walk (or a nap!) – you get the idea. Find time to capture there moments where you can feed your intellectual, emotional, spiritual and mental soul and you'll see significant increases in your productivity.
Tip #4: Listen. Listening is a skill that we aren't taught to do well enough. From the moment we are born, we're rewarded for communicating outward. We're praised for talking ("Oh, he said his first word!"). We're praised for writing ("Wow that was a great report!"). When was the last time you were praised (or gave praise) for listening??
You can increase your productivity by listening and then responding appropriately. Often we think we're listening but we're really filtering what we heard through our current frame of reference ("I'm so busy right now.") so our response is typically inappropriate. For example, your child is whining over something while you're trying to wrap up a phone call. Instead of putting the call on hold you shove a bag of chips in your child's hands and tell him to have a seat while you finish the call.
Tip #5: Release Responsibility. Here's my final bit of cliché advice – delegate! It's worth repeating because most working moms do not know how to effectively outsource their workload. Instead you've adopted the "it's quicker to do it myself" attitude and end up running yourself ragged trying to do things it would normally take a staff of 25 to complete.
The truth is that most all of your day-to-day tasks can be delegated to someone else, whether you give it to a family member or hire some help. Consider all the 10- to 15-minute tasks that eat up your day (picking up around the house, making grocery list, etc.) and then ask yourself, can someone else do this? When you've comfortably removed those smaller tasks, then make the leap toward delegating the larger ones (clean the bathroom, go grocery shopping, etc.).
Let go of your need to be responsible for everything and you'll naturally expand your time so you can focus on the priorities that matter most to you.