Let's begin with the definition Adult Attention Deficit Disorder (AADD) which is the common terminology for the psychiatric condition currently known as attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), also known as attention deficit disorder (ADD), when it occurs in adulthood. Although the exact prevalence in adults is unknown, epidemiologic studies thus far reveal that the condition, marked by inattentiveness, difficulty getting work done, procrastination, or organization problems, probably exists in about 2-4% of adults. The condition persists to adulthood in about half of children diagnosed with the disorder.(source: http://www.wikipedia.org (definition of ADDD) )
When someone is known to have ADD the following symptoms can be observed from them like chronic lateness and forgetfulness, anxiety, low self-esteem, employment problems, difficulty controlling anger, impulsiveness, substance abuse or addiction, poor organization skills, procrastination, low frustration tolerance, chronic boredom, difficulty concentrating when reading, mood swings, depression and relationship problems.
Now that I have cited some of the symptoms, I would like to set forth my own experience with my present boyfriend who has ADD. In our six months together I have impeccably dealt with his problems regarding this disorder. When we were still in the "getting-to-know-each-other" stage he already informed me that he has mild ADD. I was taken abashed with this remark and thought that this person is absurd. But I then realized what a judgmental freak I turned out to be, and to the fact that I was a BS Psychology graduate. My boyfriend too, graduated in college with the same course and he knew of his having ADD when he took a Psychological test in College in one of our subjects "Psychological Testing" and the interpretation revealed that he had 10 out of 14 symptoms in the year 2004.
One of the symptoms that he has, in which I hated the most is his difficulty of controlling his anger. When he's angry, he just couldn't keep it to himself, he is so impatient at all times and sometimes he even bawls out on me even when we're in public. Other symptoms that he has are employment problems, poor organization skills, procrastination, low frustration tolerance, chronic boredom, difficulty concentrating when reading, mood swings and depression. Imagine trying to make a relationship work with these negative traits in a person.
Does ADD affect a relationship?
Yes. ADD does affect a relationship. First and foremost, if a person has either one or two of these symptoms, it is already hard to deal with it, what more if he had 10. The key to surviving a relationship where one has ADD is comprehensive understanding of who he is. From the moment you set foot on the said relationship there should be what we call total acceptance of everything your partner might be. You should concentrate on his "other" traits than to aggragate on the symptoms of ADD. One should learn that in order to make the relationship work, there should be a lot of sacrifices to be made.
If you value the relationship that you have, you must learn to be patient with him. Sometimes, he doesn't realize that he is doing it again, try not to make it sound like you're a mommy telling his son to stop what he's doing, better yet I would suggest you to whisper to him to stop whatever he is doing to avoid bawling and things like that. In so many situations a person with ADD would not mind himself whenever he does one of the symptoms. He may or may not be aware of the fact that he cannot stop it. Try to help him in any way you can by suggesting him to seek medical help if ever his behavior is becoming disruptive or by helping him find something worth doing during free time. You can also help him to stay calm like when he's angry or very impatient on something, you can tell him to inhale and exhale ten times, I'm sure it'll work because I've done that before and it actually helped him calm himself. Try to suggest him to train himself to organize his things by having a to-do list, but if he insists try to talk him into it and tell him that these things that you do are doing is for him and not for yourself.
Here's an advice, if you let it bother you, you'll end up breaking up with your guy. But if you really love him you'd better start accepting, understanding and caring for him no matter how hard it would take. I do treat him like an ordinary person, but when it comes to some situations I have to treat him with more understanding and patience.
For sometime now, six months, that I have been with my boyfriend who has ADD I've come to an awareness that I'll be dealing with this tantrum for good. I mean, if I've done it for half a year, maybe a couple more years wouldn't hurt.
REFERENCES:
http://ericec.org
http://familydoctor.org
http://www.webmd.com
http://www.psychpage.com
http://www.fda.gov
http://www.reference.com
http://www.wikipedia.org (definition of ADDD)