How To Indirectly Influence A Persons Behaviour
--Michael Hall
Is it really possible to influence a persons behavior and
cause that person to react to your persuasion without
causing upset and without using force or shouting or by
invoking fear of pain or loss?
Of course it is possible, let's start with a real life
example ...
---
Look mommy, look! I ate all my Ravioli ...
Wow! Look honey, your big boy ate all of his Ravioli, now
isn't he a smart boy? I think this smart boy deserves a
freezer pop.
See daddy? Look. I ate all my Ravioli.
Wow, would you look at that, what a smart boy.
---
Now the concept ...
A book I read explained a concept of how to get people to
do what you want them to do without them getting upset with
you in the process. One of the many techniques explained
involves giving the person a motive without exposing your
motive.
The example above shows the concept in action on our three
year old son. Our motive or desire was to have him eat his
food instead of playing with it. We knew that he wants us
to praise him and call him 'smart boy' and 'big boy'.
So we decided we would react in a wild fit of praise when
he ate most or all of food and then give him a freezer pop
as a reward. After a few tries, he now eats all of his food
and shows of his empty plate, we in turn praise him and
sometimes we reward him with a freezer pop or candy.
Whether he is given a phsycal reward or not he still eats
all his food and expects praise. We both win and we don't
have to resort to spanking or shouting, he willingly does
what we want him to do.
If me or my wife eat all of our food, he will often blurt
out, "that's a smart daddy" or "that's a big girl" or
something to that effect and sometimes tell the other
parent to get the freezer pops or ice cream.
---
Now you try it ...
What would you like your spouse, co-worker, friend,
business partner, etc to do? First find out what they would
like and then use that as an incentive to motivate or
persuade them to do what you want ... try suggesting
instead of asking or telling.
Almost all people respond to praise, promotion, money,
security or love. Just use the right incentive with a
little tactful suggestion and you can almost control the
subject. Of course you should use integrity and not try to
convince a person to do anything wrong and/or immoral.
____________________________________________________________
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