1. These days, no matter how grim they may seem at times, will become the
good old days of the future. Therefore: perceive every new day as a new
beginning and learn from, but donÆt hold on to, bad memories that were
created yesterday.
2. Every relationship, whether work-related, private, or socially, should
enrich the relationship you have with yourself. If it does not, discard it:
something better will emerge shortly after you do.
3. Every decision has an equal chance of succeeding or failing: It is your
action after the decision has been made, together with a decent dosage of
luck, that will determine the success rate of the final outcome.
4. Whether it is globalization, terrorism, aging, corporate lay-offs, or
poverty that we fear: whatever has been programmed to happen will happen
anyway. The art of dealing with fearful factors is: acceptance of their
existence, and preparing for the best attitude in any case.
a. Globalization: how bad can it get? We have always been part of the
globe, and if it is meant for us to become more interconnected, so be it.
All you can do is make sure that you get better all the time at what youÆre
doing, and û more importantly û become multi-facetted.
b. Terrorism: how can you possibly know when it will strike unless you
are the terrorist? So why not just pluck every day and keep thinking
positively, instead of getting paranoid by too much absorbance of
sensational news-broadcasts that, after all, are mostly intended to increase
viewersÆ rates by blowing every event out of proportion?
c. Aging: No matter how many beautification treatments you undergo,
your psyche will not feel any younger. Your age will remain the same,
regardless of your attempts to defy it. Acceptance with grace is the secret
to enduring contentment.
d. Corporate lay-offs: oftentimes painful maneuvers that leave us
devastated at first. Resilience is the key here: briefly mourning, and then,
up to the next challenge!
e. Poverty: in spite of what the general perception seems to be, it is
no shame. Better living in content and honest poverty than in stressful,
hypocrite affluence.
5. Every story has at least two sides: listen to one truth, but also seek
the other(s) before judging. Various participants in a dispute may tell you
the absolute truth, but it is the truth from their viewpoint. Keep that in
mind!
6. Releasing old friends, possessions, or habits is not necessarily mean:
you only have so much time to maintain them, and if you want to move on, you
will have to apply changes in those areas, as you have to in all others.
Focus on the big picture: this is YOUR life.
7. DonÆt keep grudges locked within. Release them, but do so in a mature
way: When you feel that someone is insulting you, abusing your emotions, or
ridiculing your intelligence, think about an appropriate way of
communicating that. Once you have done so, move on without residues of
anger, hatred, or bitterness.
8. Rejection, failure, misunderstanding: they are all parts of being human,
and should therefore be seen as such: inconsistent and biased. All you can
do with rejection, failure, or misunderstanding, is to examine whether there
is any area in which you can improve your skills or behavior. If you
conclude that you have done your best, move on to the next station: there
are more houses than churches.
9. You are not your position, possessions, or the prestigious name you
happen to carry. The best choice is always to remain kind, accessible, and
devoid of arrogance. Remember a wise statement once cited by Abe Lincoln as
the perfect cure against any attack of megalomania: "This, too, shall pass."
10. You are as much subject to change as anyone else. DonÆt get disappointed
if suddenly you are not attracted anymore to the things and people that once
epitomized your dreams. We all grow. And sometimes we "outgrow." Accept
that.
Dr. Joan Marques,
Burbank, California, 6/28/04
About the Author:
Joan Marques emigrated from Suriname, South America, to California, U.S., in
1998. She holds a doctorate in Organizational Leadership, a Master's in
Business Administration, and is currently a university instructor in
Business and Management in Burbank, California. You may visit her web sites
at http://www.joanmarques.com <http://www.joanmarques.com/> and
http://www.spiritcounts.com <http://www.spiritcounts.com/>
It is better to live in serene poverty than in hectic affluence. Everything
has a price. The price for nurturing your soul is turning away from
excessive stress, destruction of self-respect, and the constant strive in
lifestyle with the Joneses. But itÆs worth it.
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