-David Breth
Part One
I am often reminded of a short, but valuable story I read years ago that goes as follows:
'THE POWER OF WORDS'
by Author Unknown
A group of frogs were traveling through the woods, and two of them fell into a deep pit. All the other frogs gathered around the pit. When they saw how deep the pit was, they told the two frogs that they were as good as dead.
The two frogs ignored the comments and tried to jump up out of the pit with all of their might. The other frogs kept telling them to stop, that they were as good as dead. Finally, one of the frogs took heed to what the other frogs were saying and gave up. He fell down and died.
The other frog continued to jump as hard as he could. Once again, the crowd of frogs yelled at him to stop the pain and just die. He jumped even harder and finally made it out.
When he got out, the other frogs said, "Did you not hear us?" The frog explained to them that he was deaf. He thought they were encouraging him the entire time.
This story gives us thoughts to think about:
1. An encouraging word to someone who is down can encourage them to achieve their goal.
2. A destructive word to someone who is down can have negative effects. Be careful of what you say.
The quote below is by Master Mark Russell ( www.markrussell.net ). His quote describes "words" very accurately:
"Words:
The Snow may look smooth and soft,
but the rocks underneath are sharp!"
One last point,
Are your words encouraging?
The above story and statement are part of what makes or breaks any organization. Whether you have a small business, large corporation, club, church, or any other function that meets with more than one person (also keep in mind the very words we say to ourselves are also harmful or helpful), what you say or do not say and how and when you say it is extremely important.
One such example is the work place, your typical nine to five job or the business you strive so hard to keep running smoothly. It is always a bad thing when your employees and or co-workers are not flowing as a 'team', when one person is not around to hear what is being said about them, but the conversation about them is less than desired. …did you hear what ___________ did"… or …"I can not believe that ___________ did not do this"… or …"_________ said this"… .
STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP
Listen to yourself, what and or how would you feel and or react if you knew that others were chatting like this about you when you are not around?
Of course you may be like some and say …"oh, those are only words and they do not matter"… . You may state that …"what others say is not important to and with you"… .
May I suggest, what is said does matter!
Guaranteed for most people, though they say …"it is no big deal, words are just words"… . This is a flippant statement to cover-up their 'hurt'.
One of the oldest techniques for destroying any organized military is to get the troops in disarray, one such successful tactic is to get rid of the general. You see if you have an issue with your boss and or owner of the organization you work with or for you should go to them in private and on a personal level. DO NOT bad mouth your 'general' (boss/owner), to other employees, this knocks him/her down in the respect level that should be in place (not as a tyrant, but as a manager/owner).
Bad mouthing your boss is like a cancer, it begins small and then if not treated it will grow and grow until it has over taken it's host body (your place of employment / business).
Note: I have a rule that those who associate with me know and they know it well and to be true-no exceptions! I will not talk bad about anyone, nor will I listen to anyone talk bad about someone! Sure like most people, a 'good juicy story' is very, very tempting to indulge in, but to stop, say no and walk away is so much better. You feel great later when you see the person(s) that were being bad mouthed, with the knowledge that you stood firm and did not take part in their verbal slaughter..you can look them straight in the eye and feel great about doing it.
Part One
Check yourself, before you wreck yourself…and others around you.
Part two of: "Words that discourage or encourage?"
-David Breth
In part one I wrote the statement that reads: "DO NOT bad mouth your 'general' (boss/owner), to other employees, this knocks him/her down in the respect level that should be in place (not as a tyrant, but as a manager/owner)."
Then at the bottom of article one in this series regarding words I typed this 'note': "Note: I have a rule that those who associate with me know and they know it well and to be true-no exceptions! I will not talk bad about anyone, nor will I listen to anyone talk bad about someone! Sure like most people, a 'good juicy story' is very, very tempting to indulge in, but to stop, say no and walk away is so much better. You feel great later when you see the person(s) that were being bad mouthed, with the knowledge that you stood firm and did not take part in their verbal slaughter...you can look them straight in the eye and feel great about doing it."
Though I have this rule and it has been a strong foundation for me and a great part of my ever growing success as an individual, this week past I too was 'caught' in the web of bad mouthing! What? Yes, this is true.
I was having lunch with my father and as we sat a talked I began to share a few things about a particular place of business that I do not like how it is being managed. As I talked, I began to deliver detailed information about how …"the overall staff does what they do and how they do not do this and they do not do this and they should and need to do and say this"… .
Now, take in mind no one else is around and after all I am not sharing individual names, I am just talking in generalizations. Now at this point my father looks at me and freely hands me his fatherly input: …"David you often talk of being positive, having an optimistic attitude, not talking negative and how powerful words are, and here you sit sharing this same type of dogmatic insight with me. Now David, you can continue to do this or maybe you can help this business's situation out by becoming the spark they need to light what has become wet and soggy"…
"Hello, check please" (the clue phone is now ringing off of the hook)!
Now I could of continued in my 'negative' chat or I could of swallowed crow and received the valuable advice from my father. Well needless to say, I swallowed crow, took heed to the advice of my dad and changed the conversation and my thought process immediately. Was it easy to change gears so abruptly? No way! I knew what action(s) had to be taken and I did it.
Now back to this articles title: "Check yourself, before you wreck yourself…and others around you".
We should often be willing to listen, not just hear what others are saying, but listen to what they are saying. Most of us have two ears and one mouth, this is so we can listen twice as much as we talk. When we hear what is being shared to help better our attitude and the words we speak, take what is being said to heart and note your how your feelings and mind-set and those around you begin to mature and change for the better.
Yes, stop, look and listen. Daily check yourself, before you wreck yourself. You and all those around you will be glad you did.
"Some people light up a room when they enter, some when they leave"
Part Two