1.Visualisation
- Try to picture the events as a REALITY and not just as a day dream. Make it
real for you!
HOW TO VISUALISE:
The relaxation movie
To help you relax , close your eyes and take yourself to a safe tranquil
place. Bring into your mind all that is soothing about this location.
Picture as much detail as you can -- colours, light and shadow, sounds, smell.
Reach out and touch things around you . Create a safe calm haven, where you
can be at peace.
It might be:
1.Lying on a beach-
Feel the warmth of the sun.Hear the waves lapping onto the shore.Touch the
sand under your fingers.
2.Walking in a garden-
Smell the perfume.See the colours.Soak up the peace.Sitting next to a
waterfall Listen to the roar.Watch the way it flows, Taste the clear fresh
water.
3.Floating in a blue pool-
Feel the water supporting you.Hear the far-off sounds.Abandon yourself to
floating.
2. WORRY TIME
-Allocate 1 hour a day for worrying. This is the time when you can give full
flight to all the concerns and cares that you normally allow to nag at you
all day. Be very firm about this.
If you find yourself worrying outside of the appointed hour, remind yourself
that you can't be bothered by this now, you'll deal with it later during
worry time, and then you'll give it your full attention.
A funny thing tends to happen during the WORRY HOUR. You usually don't feel
like WORRYING!
3. MEDITATION
Regular meditation is a very powerful tool in helping to promote a better
understanding of yourself, a more peaceful attitude and a lower stress level.
Its positive impact on mental and physical health has been well documented,
and it is especially helpful for anxiety sufferers!
Several health institutions have introduced meditation programs for sufferers
of anxiety, terminal illness and chronic pain, for example.
All of us have meditated without calling it that. It occurs when we 'switch
off'. The term ' lost IN thought' we are actually allowing thoughts to occur,
without any emotional attachment to them.This allows Anxiety sufferers to
distance themselves from the endless internal chatter that comes with anxious
thoughts and constant worrying.
Our minds can truly rest and, ofcourse, our bodies can, too.This builds
confidence as we know that we can control our fears by relaxing past them,
and quietly arrive at solutions to our own problems, by allowing these
insights to occur to us.
Daydreaming is a form of meditation, when we drift off, letting our thoughts
float where they will.
Meditation is natural, easy and available to all, at any time.
4. HOW, NOW?
- You can't change the past. It's done. What you can change is how you view
the past from the present.
How do you choose to see the past???Your past may have been miserable, true,
but how many times more cruel have you been to yourself since then? If we
never had challenges, made mistakes or tried new things, how would we ever
grow, ever learn? Go ahead and make mistakes. Everybody does. Goof it up!
Then LET IT GO.
If you hadn't had to deal with an awkward situation you would have learned
NOTHING. Give yourself a break! Maybe you didn't have the knowledge or
experience that you needed to get it right first time. Well now you do, by
MAKING A MISTAKE! Others who have helped from your past may have been equally
uninformed or unevolved!
FORGIVE THEM! Does it help you to hold a grudge?The future is unknown. You
may as well imagine it in a favourable light. Who knows? Today's loss may
simply clear the path for greater gain! You don’t know that it won't!
Again, how do you CHOOSE to visualise the future? How can you be sure that
this was the only man/woman for you? The best job you'll ever have?
Go back to visualisations for a moment. Create a movie about your future, as
you would like it to proceed, from here. See yourself grieving for your loss,
then dusting yourself off, looking around you and seeing a whole new option
emerge.
Perhaps, in the end, this transition has nothing to do with outside factors (
a spouse, a job, etc). Perhaps it's something important that you're
discovering about YOU that you can use to create a better future.
5. THE NUCLEAR WAR THEORY
-What picture does this conjure up? Death, destruction, total annihilation?
The end of all life as we know it? Its hard to imagine anything worse, isn’t
it? And yet, most of u, at some time or other, have built up being late for
an appointment into something almost as catastrophic in our own minds!If your
guests are late, if the dinner burns, if your car breaks down, even if
something BAD happens, ask yourself the old question. IS IT THE END OF THE
WORLD???Again, it is how you choose to see it. If you perceive something as
being a disaster, then that's how it will feel to you. Lets look at the burnt
dinner example:
You could:
(A) Spend the entire night sulking or embarrassed and have everyone feeling
uncomfortable OR
(B) Make a joke, order a pizza and enjoy an evening where everyone's relaxed
by your humour.
Ask yourself: What's important? Really important? The company of your friends
or Cordon Bleu cookery? It's done (even if like a dinner!). Relax. It DOESNT
MATTER.
6. LET GO
-Often it's our attachment to outcomes, results or ideals that creates the
greatest stress on us. This is the word 'SHOULD' at its most damaging. For
Instance:
(A) I SHOULD be well by now! <<< By which standard? If you’re not, you’re not!
Pull up your sleeves, there’s clearly more work to do for now!
(B) I SHOULD have found the right woman by now! <<<< Well, you haven’t, so
maybe you need to just focus on feeling good about yourself by yourself, for
now.
(C) He SHOULD have called by now! <<<< Why because you have decided that he
should? If he hasn’t, he hasn’t. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to, but it
could mean that.
Guessing will only tie you in knots. Let it go. By expecting things to go in
a certain way, we let ourselves in for disappointment if our plans are not
realised. What if your plans were flexible? What if you let go of
expectations?
Lets take a fresh look:
(A) I guess it takes as long as it takes! Thinking about when it will stop
all the time just keeps it going.
(B) Well, I could see myself as lonely or alone. There’s a big difference!
(C) I’m going out. If he calls, there’s the answering machine. Meanwhile, I’
ll have fun! Be FLEXIBLE. Take the pressure off yourself and others. By
letting go, a whole new, even better experience may open to you.
7. KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE PRIZE
-Most of us have wanted to achieve something and have been prepared to make
sacrifices to get it.
Perhaps you wanted to lose weight. This became your priority. In order to do
this, you were prepared to give up your favourite foods.
In other words, losing weight promised rewards that outweighed your current
displeasure. If you make your recovery your goal and stay attuned only to
achieving that end, your current problems will be seen as only a means to an
end. There is a Buddhist saying: if you focus on the light, the darkness
falls away. This means that you don’t really have to do anything about the
bad things. If your whole attention is on being OK, then NOT being OK doesn’t
exist! And there is another saying: where attention goes, energy flows. In
other words, whatever you concentrate on, will also be what your energy is
concentrated on.
What a waste of all that energy, if your focus is on your fear, pain or anger!
Refocus your attention onto achievement. By committing all your energy to
that, courage will follow, enthusiasm will follow, the right help will follow,
and the necessary knowledge will follow, because you will be OPEN to it!
These things exist for you already, just as pain and suffering exist! You
just don’t see them, because fear has put the blinkers on! Reach out! Take
them!
8. WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE
-Words are the fuel for your emotions.
Look at this word:
POWER
Now try this word:
FEAR
And finally, this word:
LOVE
All the three words are way very strong. Did you notice how each word made
you FEEL? That they did stimulate some emotion as you read them? Go back and
read them again, focussing on how each word affects you emotionally.
Words are not just harmless toys. They are what our BELIEFS are built on.
They are the fuel for our emotions.
9. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY
- This is YOUR life. This is YOUR reality. If you don’t like what’s in the
script, change it.
- You are responsible for your thoughts, your feelings, your actions.
You can take responsibility right now, in the choices you make about the way
you see yourself and your life with it.
Just as you are responsible for yourself, so are others for themselves.
So it is not your role or responsibility to make decisions for anyone else,
or to settle their issues, or even to rescue them. By all means care about
others, but by helping them to know their own truth in their own way, just as
you are doing. Stop living for others and start living for yourself.
Feel free to visit some of my sites or book mark one at http://anxiety-
freeliving.blogspot.com/