How many times have we all said to ourselves: “Today is the day I’m going to organize my office!” (or basement/attic/closet, etc.). But the day goes by and somehow we just don’t get to the organizing. The same thing happens with wanting to change our eating habits or with any change we want to make in our lives.
To procrastinate is human. We procrastinate and then we feel bad about ourselves. Over and over we do it. And the more we tolerate the condition of delay in making the change we desire, the more it nags at us and the more we berate ourselves. Please notice – I said the more we tolerate the condition of delay not the more we tolerate the thing we want to change.
On his birthday in September my son Bryan gave up smoking after many years of a smoking habit. I asked him how he did it because I know that smoking is very difficult to stop. He replied, “I waited until I was ready.”
I think that the reason we do not take the actions necessary to make the change is that we are not ready to make the change. We think we are ready. But if we are not taking actions to prepare for, or actions that make the change, we are not ready.
So how do we know when we’re ready?
It’s different for everyone. Here are some conditions that I think must be present in order to make a change in your life. Let’s use an example of “finally getting your office organized”.
1. You must be aware of the pain (consequences of present habits.) Many of us do not want to look deeply inside and acknowledge that we are not happy with the way things are. But this deep awareness is critical for making a change. Until we can have a serious talk with ourselves and tell the truth about the situation and stop making excuses to ourselves (or others) we will continue to procrastinate and feel bad about ourselves.
2. You need to stop shaming and blaming. This is tough because chances are, you’ve been feeling ashamed and blaming yourself for years. But as long as you blame and shame yourself you’re going to have a hard time making the changes. Remember, we all are doing the best we can with the lives we’ve been given.
3. You must passionately want to change. You must feel “fed up” with the way things are now and be ready to do what it takes to make the change. It’s important to connect the painful consequences of past actions to the peaceful vision of the future. Virtually every one of my clients has told me she will feel “more peaceful” and “more in control” when she can make her desired change. What most people forget is that the very minute we truly decide to change we begin to experience a feeling of peace and control.
4. You have to see yourself acting in ways that will cause the change. For example, you must envision yourself each night clearing up your desk in order to be ready for the next morning. This is one step that will lead to an organized office.
5. You must be willing to set aside the time to take the actions necessary for your change. This is a matter of knowing deep down that how you spend your time directly impacts your physical environment. Therefore, it’s not just knowing that you need to take actions, but committing also to make time in your life for those actions. For example, you could schedule appointments with yourself to take the first small steps (cleaning a bookshelf or clearing one corner of your desk).
6. Understand that this will not necessarily happen overnight. With each small change made you will feel lighter and more motivated to continue.
7. You must accept that there may be setbacks. That’s part of life. Once you know this it’s easier to get back on track and not beat yourself up.
So- are you ready to make that change? If yes, good for you! If not, just put it aside and enjoy being just where you are now. And don’t feel bad about yourself. Maybe you need to love and forgive yourself just a little bit more in order to treat yourself just a little bit better.
copyright © by Patsy Murray and SimpleLife Organizers
Patsy Murray is a Professional Organizer and organizing coach working with clients in Watertown, Massachusetts and the greater Boston area. She organizes homes and home offices of people who feel overwhelmed by too many commitments and too much clutter. She helps them manage their time and simplify their lives so they can work more efficiently with more time to enjoy life. Patsy is the author of the booklet "Moving To A Smaller Home: 50 Tips For Living Clutter-Free in Less Space" and the Simple Life Weekly Planning System. For free organizing tips, visit Patsy’s website, http://www.simplelifeorganizers.com.