Have you ever wondered why fathering was so hard? One of our deepest soul longings is to be good parents for our children, but it seems like all of our emotional energy is spent on just getting through the latest challenge. Every father I know struggles with this. Here’s a few things I’ve found that help me stay focused.

3 Things To Help You Be A Good Dad

1) Focus On How You Are Relating NOT On What You Are Doing. A life of meaning is not found in the endless things that we spend our time doing; it’s found in the relationships we are having. My kids don’t really care about all the little distractions that I get so wound up about, they just want to spend time with me. They want to play, run, laugh, and enjoy life with me. Going to the movies is not about the movie it’s about being together. We get so frustrated over things that don’t deserve even a second thought.

2) Focus On Delight NOT on Duty. Providing for your kids education is helpful, but what they desperately crave is your delight. It’s so easy to focus on getting by, paying the bills, and attending the important school functions. Don’t live out of those feeling that say you ‘Have To’ do this thing with your kid. Live out of the place where you ‘Get To’ spend time with your kids. There are few great joys then the precious moments that can never be replaced.

3) Focus On Shaping Hearts NOT on Enforcing Rules. Often we as men find ourselves merely trying to enforce compliance to a certain rule. There’s no life there. When things happen don’t just try to play the parent police game, think about yourself as a person who is sculpting the heart of your child. Every situation has with it the opportunity to help your kids feel your delight, even as you help them take corrective action. Just remember the goal is not merely to make them comply, it’s to help them release their strength and passions in ways that bring life to themselves and to other people.