Bed-Wetting: When Cures Can Be Worse than the Disease part 2

There are times in life when we have multiple options to choose from but unfortunately there are also situations in which our range of choices are narrowed to a couple of options and sometimes neither alternative is pleasant. In a case such as this we must choose the lesser of two evils. In the examples mentioned above the lesser of two evils would be wearing diapers to bed. If this was any other medical problem the person's decision to not take the medicine or undergo surgery would be respected but with incontinence(particularly bed-wetting) we have a double standard. With any medical problem we must choose the most appropriate tools and equipment to manage it and since everybody has different needs they'll require different tools for their particular situation and circumstances. An example that comes to mind are mental health disorders. Although people might have similar symptoms,the symptoms might manifest themselves in different ways therefore people experience these diseases differently. This means they might need different medicines or treatments. The same is true for problems like bed-wetting. People might wet more at night than others and require a product with more absorbency,they might have problems with side leakage due to the fact that they tend to sleep on their side and require products that are more effective at dealing with that issue,they might prefer cloth diapers due to the fact that they're more cost effective than disposables and and also because they're presumably better for the environment,etc. With this in mind people must wear products that best suit their needs and be less concerned about whether or not the products have a good "image"(which is a euphemism for being less "babyish.")

One of the key issues that seems to be forgotten when discussing bed-wetting is quality of life. While bed-wetting is unpleasant it is not as bad as having daytime incontinence since it is much easier to be discreet about it and in terms of medical issues there are many disorders and medical issues that are far worse to live with-multiple sclerosis,chronic pain,cerebral palsy,diabetes,cancer,schizophrenia,etc. That's not to say that life is peaches and cream for the bed wetter but it's good to be able to put things in perspective. Although most bed wetters want to seek a cure for their enuresis(due I suspect primarily because of the stigma associated with it and as a result of that stigma societal pressure) there are a significant number of them who have tried multiple cures without success and while some of this group might be depressed about it there are also a number of them who take a more stoic approach to the situation. With these people they feel that their quality of life is not that significantly effected by the bed-wetting and don't have any problem putting on a diaper before going to bed. This could be because they have friends,relatives,or a spouse who are supportive of them and aren't concerned about the bed-wetting and diapers,because they have a strong self-image,or they have both a strong self-image and supportive friends and family,etc. The people who have tried different methods of curing their bed-wetting without success and who feel that their quality of life is not significantly diminished should not be pressured to find a cure if they can live with it and should not be stigmatized for using diapers to manage the bed-wetting.

Why people are stigmatized for wearing diapers for bed-wetting is a mystery to me. Just about every other medical aid is accepted by people-canes,glasses,hearing aids,wheelchairs and walkers,pacemakers,insulin for diabetics,inhalers for asthma,etc. Everything except night diapers. For example people don't say to a person using a hearing aid or a cane- " you should feel ashamed of yourself-you need to find a cure!" or they don't say to a person with asthma "don't you feel embarrassed using that inhaler?" People are more pressured to cure incontinence(especially bed-wetting) than any other disease.

Individuals are different in their ability and propensity to tolerate different things in life-one man's backache is another man's headache. Some people feel real upset about their bed-wetting whereas others are not that concerned about it. Some people might find it puzzling that a person can take a relaxed view of a problem such as this-after all most people believe that only babies or small children wet the bed. But it's important that we face life's challenges with grace and dignity and in the overall scheme of things the fact that a person has to wear diapers to bed is not that bad.

Finally with some individuals it is difficult to ascertain the cause or causes of the bed-wetting. We must not forget that while medical science has made tremendous strides in dealing with different diseases there are times when even the professionals are stumped and cannot provide answers or cures with some individuals. In situations such as this we must use whatever means necessary to manage the problem in order to live a fuller and richer life. Diapers enable many bed wetters to do this. As mentioned there are people who wet the bed their whole lives and many of these people sleep in diapers their whole lives. If this is the case a person shouldn't feel discouraged or depressed. It's okay to be a bed wetter and it's okay to wear diapers to bed no matter how old you are! It's been pointed out that people who use diapers to deal with their bed-wetting might get complacent about finding a cure,that they'll become dependent on the diapers and they'll become a security blanket for the person. I've written an article about this issue called "Will Wearing Diapers to Bed Decrease the Motivation to Achieve Dryness?" I encourage people to read this article because it talks about the reasons why I feel this won't be the case. Due to the stigma surrounding using these items,I believe the likelihood of this happening is small.

There are many online support groups in which you can talk to individuals dealing with the same problems. In addition many psychologists,counselors,and other mental health professionals deal with this issue and can provide therapy for the individual having difficulty coming to terms with wearing diapers to bed. If the parents decide to go this route they should talk to child or teen beforehand and ask them if they would prefer to talk to a male or female therapist. They should also tell the child the reasons for going to therapy and how you feel it will help the child. The parents should talk to the therapist before the session and discuss the goals they have. They should let the therapist know that they've tried many different methods to cure the bed-wetting to no avail and tell him or her that they prefer to use diapers to manage the bed-wetting but the child or teen is having difficulty adjusting to wearing the diapers to bed. The parents should ask the therapist if it would be a good idea for them to meet with the therapist and if he or she wants to meet with both them and the child at some future point.

People have different personalities and temperaments which play a big part in how they cope with life's challenges. This includes the time it takes to adjust to various hardships whether grieving over the loss of a loved one, the end of a relationship,or adjusting to the effects of a serious illness. Over time we acquire various strategies and coping mechanisms which help us get through these difficult times. Life experience gives us the strength,knowledge,and wisdom to more effectively deal with the vicissitudes of life. Friends,family,and relatives are another source of comfort when times are tough. A person needs to keep this in mind when they feel discouraged about their bed-wetting and the fact that they have to wear diapers to bed. It's important that the person suffering from incontinence have a strong support system whether friends,family,or relatives. Having a person to confide in makes living with the incontinence a lot easier.

It can be very frustrating living with this problem but it doesn't have to be. There are people out there who are real compassionate,intelligent,and sensitive .If it turns out that the current methods available to treat the bed-wetting are not viable and you have to wear nighttime protection, remember-you're not alone.