7 secrets of a happy marriage

Life in the 21st century seems to have become more challenging than before in a number of ways. The general economic stress is higher, the lifestyles have become busier with reduced time for the family, the competition levels are much stiffer, and relationships appear to be getting more strained, especially marital relationships in this tough socio-economic environment.

Here are 7 secrets, which are actually open secrets that can still ensure very happy marriages in the 21st century:

1. Reflect on your own self and acquire the habit of introspection. If we don't do that, it becomes very easy to put the entire blame on the spouse for everything. There is a great temptation to escape from introspection, do not succumb to that temptation. If both the spouses do it, the marriage just cannot go wrong.
2. Communicate with an open heart. Bad marriages are often a product of misunderstandings and miscommunications. Find time to communicate adequately with your spouse. The world's biggest issues can be resolved through communication, so a marriage between two individuals too can be certainly resolved too.
3. Empathy is critical to a successful relationship, especially a marriage. Try to put yourself in your spouse's shoes and see things from his or her viewpoint for a change. Empathy is contagious. If you can do it, your spouse will automatically reciprocate.
4. Accept the fact that nobody is perfect in this world. If you are always striving for a flawless person in your spouse, it can be stifling for him or her. Remember, your spouse is also accepting you with your flaws. Nobody is perfect.
5. "Sorry" is probably the most important word in any marriage. If you can quickly accept your mistake, and do not let your ego get in the way, it can douse the spark before it turns into fire. Use this word frequently, and say it from the heart. It is the miracle word of any successful marriage.
6. De-stress your professional life. Certainly, do not bring your professional stress with you when you return home. Your spouse is not your punching bag. Nobody can take unfair treatment or ill temper beyond a point. Your stress is no justification for it. Do not allow your stress to destroy your marriage.
7. Constantly remind yourself that marriage is a responsibility that must be carried out successfully. You entered into marriage out of choice, and nobody forced you for it. Only irresponsible and weak people fail to carry out what they have chosen to undertake. Do not let yourself be counted in the category of irresponsible and unreliable people who cannot fulfill their duties sincerely, one of which is marriage.

If both spouses feel their responsibility towards the marital commitment, which they made out of their own choice as mature adults, they will make it work. Where there is a will, there is way.


Bizymoms Expert Corner provides readers with expert advice from real experts. Join the Paul Message Board to get advice from Paul Friedman , a Bizymoms Expert has a practice in North San Diego California helping couples convert their marriage from seeming failures to extraordinary successes.