Last June Bill and I moved into our beautiful new mountain home.  My talented husband designs and builds homes, so we're fortunate to have lived in more than one new house during our 32 years of marriage. During the building process there were many challenges. One of the most challenging was a neighbor who decided we weren't running our construction project the way they thought we should. This neighbor called the fire department, sheriff, and county officials numerous times during the six months we were building for various reasons. Although we were doing everything we could to appease them, short of stopping our building process, it was obvious that they felt like we were encroaching upon their space and peace of mind. In other words, they felt victimized. 

I have to admit there were many times I felt victimized by them as well... Instead of looking forward to our move, I was dreading it, and even had visions of selling our new house and finding another lot to build on where I could "interview" the neighbors beforehand! Since this wasn't logical, or feasible, I had a decision to make. 

When you encounter situations such as mine, you have a decision to make as well. You can continue whining and complaining and feeling like life is "unfair", or you can suck it up and decide to change your viewpoint. In other words, you have to decide to be right, or happy...

Once you're ready to get past the bad feelings and accept that your peace and happiness is more important than being right about what you think should have occurred, it's time to take some proactive steps to move forward and release your feelings of fear and anger. 

1. Stop whining and start living. When you decide to begin enjoying your journey through life, in spite of the curve balls thrown your way, you will begin attracting wonderful people and situations. Make up your mind to enjoy life. Get support when you need it to get back on track. Remember, your thoughts are the tools you use to create the life you want, but the flip side is that they will also create what you don't want!



2. Decide to see the situation differently. After I got past the fear of what my neighbor would complain about next, I realized it was really just a minor annoyance. They couldn't keep us from finishing our house and moving in on time. I discovered there were many other neighbors who were friendly and complimented our home. It was time to focus on those neighbors and think about the others as little as possible. The old saying is true - you definitely can't please everyone, so I decided to let go and move on. 



3. Make a commitment to you. Spend some quiet time everyday appreciating you, even if it's just five minutes. Negative situations and people can adversely affect your sense of self esteem. Spend some quiet time doing whatever makes you feel loved and appreciated and helps you come to the realization that no matter what someone else says, you deserve the good things in life. My daily quiet time helps me connect to that Source inside of me that can see the "bigger" picture. I may not realize why I'm dealing with these difficult people now, but I may down the road. 



4. Forgiveness is the key to your peace of mind. I'm not talking about the traditional view of forgiveness that says, "You're wrong, and I'm right, but I'll forgive you anyway so we don't feel uncomfortable the next time I see you." This is the forgiveness that says, "My peace of mind is more important than anything else in my life. I want to see this situation from a fresh perspective. Maybe you have some valid points (I know I do!). So let's agree to try to look from a higher perspective and give ourselves some time to see things differently." I can find peace in this scenario of forgiveness. Even if the other person isn't actively participating, you can find peace of mind and move on. You may even discover that the other person, or situation, changes in time. 



There is a passage in A Course in Miracles that says:

"Seek not outside yourself. For all your pain comes simply from a futile search for what you want, insisting where it must be found. What if it is not there? Do you prefer that you be right or happy?" T.Ch.29.VII.1:6-9

Choose to be happy and choose for life. While you have all the answers inside of you, you may need support along the way to uncover the blocks to the answers. You know intuitively where the best source of that support lies for you. Be willing to utilize that source, whatever it may be.