A story about an old Bendix washing machine helped one man get
through the valley of loss. *
His parents acquired the washer when John Claypool was a small
boy. It happened during World War II. His family owned no washing
machine and, since gasoline was rationed, they could ill afford
trips to the laundry several miles away. Keeping clothes clean
became a problem for young John's household.
A family friend was drafted into the service, and his wife
prepared to go with him. John's family offered to store their
furniture while they were away. To the family's surprise, the
friends suggested they use their Bendix while they were gone. "It
would be better for it to be running," they said, "than sitting
up rusting." So this is how they acquired the washer.
Young John helped with the washing, and across the years he
developed an affection for the old, green Bendix. But eventually
the war ended. Their friends returned. In the meantime he had
forgotten how the machine came to be in their basement in the
first place. When the friends came to take it away, John grew
terribly upset -- and said so! His mother, wise as she was, sat
him down and said, "Wait a minute, Son. You must remember, that
machine never belonged to us in the first place. That we ever got
to use it at all was a gift. So, instead of being mad at it being
taken away, let's use this occasion to be grateful that we had it
at all."
The lesson proved invaluable. Years later, John watched his
eight-year-old daughter die a slow and painful death of leukemia.
Though he struggled for months with her death, John could not
begin healing from the loss until he remembered the old Bendix.
"I am here to testify," he said, "that this is the only way down
the mountain of loss...when I remember that Laura Lou was a gift,
pure and simple, something I neither earned nor deserved nor had
a right to. And when I remember that the appropriate response to
a gift, even when it is taken away, is gratitude, then I am
better able to try and thank God that I was ever given her in the
first place."
His daughter was a gift. When he realized that simple fact,
everything changed. He could now begin healing from the tragedy
of her loss by focusing instead on the wonder of her life. He
started to see Laura Lou as a marvelous gift that he was
fortunate enough to share for a time. He felt grateful. He found
strength and healing. He knew he could get through the valley of
loss.
We all experience loss -- loss of people, loss of jobs, loss of
relationships, loss of independence, loss of esteem, loss of
things. When what you held dear can be viewed as a gift, a wonder
that you had it at all, the memory can eventually become one more
of gratitude than tragedy. And you will find the healing you
need.
Steve Goodier
* Story from TRACKS OF A FELLOW STRUGGLER, by John Claypool
(Insight Press Inc., 1995).
Steve Goodier Publisher@... is a professional
speaker, consultant and author of numerous books. Visit his site for
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and Laughter at http://LifeSupportSystem.com.