4 Ways To Connect Using Communication Preferences

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We may have lost some face to face connection, but in today’s world of social media communication, we have moved to faster, more frequent communication than ever before. Now, more than ever, what you say and how you say it is critical to the person on the other end of your communication message. Effective communication is the first step in building strong personal and professional relationships.

Did you know?

• Rapport is established in the first 90 seconds or less
• 93% of what is communicated is communicated and received unconsciously
• Tailoring your communication message to your audience enhances trust and credibility

Effective communication is key to building strong lasting personal and professional relationships. Adjusting your communication style to that of your audience allows you to direct the conversation towards your desired outcomes.

There are four preferred communication styles:

1. Visual
2. Auditory
3. Kinesthetic
4. Auditory Digital

Visual communicators learn by seeing and memorize by looking at pictures. They tend to be distracted by long verbal instructions. Appearance is important to them. They are interested in how your message LOOKS. No phrase captures Visual communicators better than “a picture paints a 1000 words”. If you are communicating with Visuals you might send them pictures, videos, pictorial slides with images rather than written reports. You should also look at the words you are using and use “visual” words like: see, look, view, focus, appear or phrases like: beyond a shadow of a doubt, bird’s eye view.


Auditory communicators learn by listening and by what they hear. They will likely be literal listeners so choose your words carefully when speaking to an auditory communicator. Auditorys can be easily distracted by noise because they are listening so intently. They like music, audio books and talking on the phone. They will be interested in tele-seminars or conference call meetings. Auditory listeners will memorize by steps, procedures and sequences so structure in your communication will be important. They respond to tone of voice and words and like to be told how they are doing. They will be most interested that your message SOUNDS right. With Auditory communicators use some of the following words: hear, listen, sounds, resonate or some of the following phrases: rings a bell, manner of speaking, lend me your ear, hold your tongue.

Kinesthetic communicators learn by doing, moving, acting out, and hands on experience. They will often move and talk more slowly and breathily. Often it will take a Kinesthetic communicator more words to articulate what they are trying to say. They memorize by doing or by walking through something. Their interest is in how a message FEELS. i.e. Does it FEEL right or does it give them a good GUT FEELING. Kinesthetics will respond favorably to the following words and phrases: feel, touch, grasp, get a hold of, catch on, concrete, tap into, boils down to, hand in hand.


Auditory Digital communicators often exhibit characteristics of the other three communication preferences. They will be most interested that a message makes SENSE. They too memorize by steps, procedures and sequences. The most analytical of the four styles, Auditory Digital communicators will respond to the following words: sense, understand, think, learn, process, decide, consider, know, change, or motivate.

Whenever you communicate in face to face interactions, over the phone or by email, social media or other written content consider these simple tips:

• Look for clues to tell you whether the person you are communicating with has a preference for Visual, Auditory, Kinesthetic or Auditory Digital communication style
• Listen for keyword and keyword phrases others are using in their speech or written messages
• Experiment by matching and mirroring predicate words to determine which words your listener grasps onto
• Prepare in advance by analyzing and understanding your audience in order to tailor your message to their preferred style.
• When in doubt use all four communication styles in your verbal and written communication

Remember effective communication is key to building strong lasting personal and professional relationships.

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Linda Cattelan is a Professional & Life Coach, Certified Trainer & Master Practitioner of NLP and a Contributing Author of The Power of Women United an inspirational book on networking. If you are interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be in any area of your life, join our mailing list at http://www.resultscatalyst.ca/?page=newsletter Receive valuable information on these topics and regular updates about upcoming events and workshops.

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